Detroit Joke City

by Matthew Dirt on Jan 5, 2009 3:49 PM CST Comment 8 comments

I saw this over on Puck Daddy today - The Detroit Free Press is calling on their readers to do what Detroit fans do best... whine.

If you've had the displeasure of talking with any Red Wings fans lately, they've probably complained about the lack of Wings starting in the All-Star Game. Rather than chalk it up to the fact the Blackhawks went out of their way to encourage fan voting and other schumcks encouraged you to stuff the box, Wings fans actually feel slighted by the lack of starters for this utterly meaningless game...

And now The Detroit Free Press is asking their readers to come up with a "snarky" comment to fill into this cartoon expressing their displeasure.

Bilde_medium

The problem is though, Red Wings fans lack any sense of humor. Check the comments on this page... They've thought "Dead Wings" was creative... and complained about the commonplace "Detroit sucks" chant when the two teams play in our fair city. Lets see how they do with this task..

"Welcome fans, as you may be aware, the new 'Bettman' rule for the All-Star game forbids Stanely Cup winners from being selected the following year. This rule is only in effect at the discretion of Gary Bettman, hence the title, the 'Bettman' rule."
01/05/2009 4:23:13 p.m. EDT

This one could have used some further explanation...

"You want a REAL All-Star game? Go to the Joe and you'll see one."
01/05/2009 2:56:34 p.m. EDT

"No Red Wings on this list?!? I'm experiencing a sports announcer's biggest fear... being speechless!"
01/05/2009 2:38:15 p.m. EDT

I thought the biggest fear was being paired up with Eddie-O?

"No Detroit players! This must be the start of Armageddon!"
01/05/2009 2:34:34 p.m. EDT

Wocka Wocka!

"Well folks we had to deal with...illegal gambling.....x-rated pictures....but now this internet has gone too far. No Red Wings in the starting lineup!"
01/05/2009 2:25:25 p.m. EDT

Only someone from Detroit would claim that gambling and free porn are bad things..

"This is a tragedy! Every computer in the Detroit area was down for maintenance during the NHL all-star game voting."
01/05/2009 4:03:50 a.m. EDT

Womp Womp... fill in your own suggestions in the comments...

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by Forklift14 on Jan 5, 2009 4:39 PM CST reply actions

They’ve got it all backwards in Detroit. Apparently their human fans are doing the voting and their robot fans are writing the one-liners.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jan 5, 2009 5:01 PM CST reply actions

Thier whole city is a shithole

I was making out with a girl in my car one night and she told me to kiss her where it smells. So I took drove her to Detroit.

I’m all down for friendly banter between opposing teams and all but every Detroit fan that have posted on this site seem to be a bunch of nonfunctional retards.

"Oh, that's easy. White Sox. I'm not one of these fair-weather fans. You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer; beautiful people up there. People aren't watching the game. It's not serious. White Sox, that's baseball. South Side." -O'Bama

by Hawk is God on Jan 5, 2009 6:07 PM CST reply actions

I call them retards

and I have typos everywhere. Jackass meet self.

Why is there no edit option?

by Hawk is God on Jan 5, 2009 6:08 PM CST up reply actions

I felt kind of sad for the one

who complained about Blackhwaks fans being losers. I mean, it looked like he joined this site just to make that comment. His profile didn’t show him belonging to any other SBN blogs. He could have joined the Wings blog and actually talked hockey with those fans, or he could have complained to them about Hawks fans being ‘losers.’

I read Viva el Birdos all the time, and it’s not uncommon for fans of other teams to come on and bust chops, but usually it’s pretty good natured.

Like I said, just sad. His team won the Cup, and instead of enjoying it he comes on here and whines. Some people.

Anyways, go HAWKS!

/end rant

by Edbird on Jan 5, 2009 10:03 PM CST up reply actions

sound like sox fans….i can feel the hate coming now

by Hawks08 on Jan 6, 2009 5:19 AM CST up reply actions

“DEE-TROIT SUX!”?

by Hawks08 on Jan 6, 2009 5:21 AM CST reply actions

all-start games are pointless

fan voting is a joke. not just in hockey but in every sport. At least the NHL has the common sense to make the all-start game meaningless, unlike baseball, which gives the winning league home field advantage.

I understand why they do the fan voting but if you are going to do that then you have to also have the coaches and players vote like they do in the NFL, otherwise it’s the team with the most involved fans that get in and not necessarily the best players for proof of that, look at the starting lineup year in and year out for the all-star game. Specifically in the american league.

---AC 00 00 00 - Believe

by mjk83 on Jan 6, 2009 9:16 AM CST reply actions