FanPost

Annual Detroit First Round Chokers and Suck Post

In the spirit of rivalry, I have compiled a little tirade against the Detroit Red Wings.  I hate everything about the Detroit Red Wings. Their players are a collection of European fairies. Even worse are their fans and organization (ownership and tradition) who piss me the hell off.  I have never met fans with a bigger sense of entitlement than Red Wings fans.  They are easily the biggest collection of whiners and ego ever assembled. 

Let’s begin with the concept of Detroit being Hockeytown. You are not Hockeytown.  You possess a trademark proclaiming you are Hockeytown, but there are no intangible reasons you could be considered Hockeytown.  I will gladly push aside my intense American patriotism to admit ANY town in Canada is 1000 time more qualified be considered Hockeytown.  Hockey is pretty much ONLY sport Canadians follow, play and breathe.  You guys can’t even sell out your stadium.  I see more Detroiters (is that what they are called?) in the stands for Pistons games (hahahhaha) and Lions games (hahahaha x50).  Face it, you guy were lucky that Mike Illitch is an skilled businessman and possessed a damn good marketing department.  Kinda I guess b/c some town in Minnesota was the originally Hockeytown, they just weren’t big enough douchebags to trademark it.       

You guys like to look down upon us Blackhawk fans because of our struggles. That’s fine. But unlike being a Red Wings fan, it took a shit ton of effort to be a Hawk fan. The previous owner, Dollar Bill, did everything in his capacity to prevent the formation of a strong fan base.  Awful draft picks, talent let go for cash money reasons and a string of Wirtz soldier GM’s made it impossible to be one.  How do you follow a team with Michal Grosek, Boris Mirinov, Bob Probert (Started a Wings cunt…Always a Wings cunt), Kevin Dean, Alexander Fucking Karpotsev, <insert garbage player here>.    

Tradition. The octopus. Dumb.

Finally I want to come to the most satisfying part of my rant. First round chokes. It’s a theme w/ the Red Wings. I like it. Now that’s a tradition I can get used to.  I see no reason this year should be any different. CHRIS OSGOOD IS YOUR PLAYOFF GOALIE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Has there ever been a better example of the combination of arrogance and idiocy displayed.  Just because Chris Osgood won a cup last year doesn’t mean he will do it this year. He sucks. He has tried to “turn it on” many times. He has failed….many times. I can’t wait till Getzlaf goes apeshit during the series.  I’m sorry but Anaheim is one fucking scary team.  You guys certainly got the raw end with this one. But that’s good. I hate you guys. 

Red Wings Suck.  Home Ice Bitches! Wooooooooooooooo!

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