April 23rd - Beard of the Day: Billy Mays
by Killion on Apr 23, 2009 9:33 AM CDT
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HIIIII! BILLY MAYS HERE FOR SECOND CITY HOCKEY'S PLAYOFF BEARD OF THE DAY! DO YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP SOME SLOPPY PLAY AND GET YOUR PLAYOFF TEAM BACK ON TRACK!? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GIVEN UP THE LEAD ON THE ROAD!? HAVE YOU DEFEATED YOUR FANS, BROUGHT THEM BACK TO LIFE ONLY TO SEE THEM BECOME DEFEATED ONCE MORE ALL WITHIN THE SPAN OF ONE GAME!? WELL GUESS WHAT!?!
I'VE GOT JUST WHAT YOU NEED!! IT'S CALLED TWO DAYS REST AND A MADHOUSE BACK THE UNITED CENTER! JUST CALL ME IN AND I'LL CLEAN UP WHATEVER IS WRONG WITH YOUR TEAM WITH MY PATENTED UNNATURALLY BLACK BEARD AND OXICLEAN! NO MORE ANNOYING FUCKING AIR HORNS! NO MORE "C OF RED"!
WITH GAMES AT THE UNITED CENTER YOU'LL GET A LOUD PASSIONATE FAN BASE ROOTING FOR YOUR GOALS! CHEERING YOU ON EVERY BREAKAWAY, HIT AND BIG SAVE! CALL ME IN NOW AND I'LL GIVE YOU TWO MORE HOME GAMES AND A CHANCE TO FINALLY PUNCH MIKE KEENAN IN THE FACE!
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I don’t think there are any words that can express the level of disappointment I feel today after last night’s game. This team has turned me back into a paranoid, overly superstitious fan. FML
hey now..
they don’t call me “crazy fingers” because of my blogging…
oh wait.. yeah they do
by Killion on Apr 23, 2009 12:05 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Got a great laugh out of the Billy Mays imitation and this comment.
Thanks for that. Needed something like this after last nights game.
Lets go Hawks! Detroit Sucks!
This post is even better
When you read it out loud at work.
Defending Big D an SBN Dallas Stars Blog | TheStarsFans
Doing your best Billy Mays imitation!
Defending Big D an SBN Dallas Stars Blog | TheStarsFans
by Brandon Bibb on Apr 23, 2009 12:22 PM CDT up reply actions
I lol'd when he said
“And guess what? Fuckin’ Optimus Prime can’t tear this shit off; it’s 80 thousand pounds of pressure”
NOW STOP IT RIGHT HERE
this is a little late
but fuck that guy’s beard. It looks like it is put on with shoe polish.
freakishly unnatural.
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