Official Glossary For The Newcomers
by SamFels on May 15, 2009 3:51 PM CDT
57 comments
I've seen these popping up in more and more comments sections, so I thought I would help everyone out here on the front page. We're gaining more and more new readers every day, which really is a sad statement about society, and seeing as how I'm the one who keeps coming up with new nicknames, I'll spell them all out here:
Toews-Captain Marvel
Kane & Toews on the same line: Daydream Nation (19 and 88)
Sharp-The Sharp-Shooter, or Shooter if you're into the whole brevity thing
Bolland-Fabulous Weapon (it's an Eagles of Death Metal reference)
Havlat-JHC, for Jesus Havlat Christ, or sometimes Martylark, but not so much these days.
Ladd-Used to be Nails, have changed it to Mountain in The Indian, but feel free to use either.
Byfuglien-It was fuckwad during the season, we've reverted to Buff now
Versteeg-VERSTEEG!, or VerStud, or Steeger
Brouwer-ohymgod ohmygod ohmygod ohshit! (Okay, we haven't used that one yet, but that's his thought process during any scoring chance)
Campbell-51 Phantom, but you can go with Soupy if you want
Seabrook-Biscuit, or Seabs
Hjalmarsson-used to be Hammer, now we've added Super Nintendo Jalmers.
Walker-Big Country, or the worst expletive you can think of.
that's all of them now, I think
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a lot of us also refer to Walker as "Ralph"
and some people refer to Eager as “Sunshine”
NOW STOP IT RIGHT HERE
by mjthor on May 15, 2009 3:59 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm jumping onboard the Hawks bandwagon
B’s are out now and I need a team to stay interested. I’m going with the Blackhawks. The B’s and Hawks are eerily similar and our fan bases have suffered through similar hardships.
http://www.stanleycupofchowder.com/2009/5/15/876530/i-need-to-find-a-bandwagon-to
by Stanley Cup of Chowder on May 15, 2009 4:00 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Welcome aboard.. glad to have you.
by Matthew Dirt on May 16, 2009 12:00 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Chelios
will be interviewed on ESPN1000AM in a few minutes from right now for anyone who cares.
by Crease Monkey on May 15, 2009 4:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Traitor.
I loved Cheli. Key word, loved
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
by HawkVision on May 15, 2009 8:55 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
To add...
You know when the older generation of Hawk fans refer to the trade of Bobby Hull as a dark day/time/period. Mine was the trading of Denis Savard for Chelios.
Now, I completely understand that it was good trade in the hockey sense. But that was a dark day for me. It took a while for me to warm up to Chelios, simply because he replaced one of my idols. I would compare it to how some 6,7,8 year old kids are probably looking at Kaner nowadays. And eventually, I did grow to love what Cheli did for the early/mid 90s Hawk teams.
But when he because a member of the freakin’ Scum. That was it. Period. Dead to me.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
by HawkVision on May 15, 2009 9:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Okay, major triple post foul, my apologies...
“because” should be “became”…sorry guys.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
by HawkVision on May 15, 2009 9:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hull wasn't traded
He got a metric buttload of money to go to the WHA. A dark day nonetheless.
I stopped playing my Bobby Hull Slap Shot Hockey game after that.
HOCKEENIGHT.COM...home of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS and LEAVE IT TO BETTMAN...now with PODCASTING!!!
by Forklift14 on May 15, 2009 11:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’m reading a great book about the WHA right now called “The Rebel League”. If you liked the movie Slapshot, you’ll love this book. Lots of great stories that the movie was based on.
Dum spiramus tuebimur
by spectr17 on May 16, 2009 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I read that a few years ago. It’s a good read.
by Stanley Cup of Chowder on May 17, 2009 9:50 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
you forgot
Badger for Burish….I know Seabrook is called Biscuit but I’m not sure I ever saw why or how he came about that moniker.
by Crease Monkey on May 15, 2009 4:05 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Seabrook Seabiscuit…sound similar
LET'S GO HAWKS!!!
by Hawks08 on May 15, 2009 4:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I figured
that was probably it but thought it may have something to do with the puck often being referred to as a ‘biscuit"…put the biscuit in the basket which wouldn’t make much sense for someone who scores fewer than 10 goals a year.
by Crease Monkey on May 15, 2009 6:55 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Super Nintendo?
How did Hammer get that one? “Fabulous Weapon” is a great one for Bolland. Remember that post where that guy said that he and his friends call him Dave “Party” Bolland? I thought that was a great one too. It so great because it makes zero sense.
by The Admiral on May 15, 2009 4:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
The Super Nintendo
Is from an episode of the Simpsons, Ralph calls superintendent Chalmers Super Nintendo Chalmers, which sounds close enough to Hjalmarsson
wait what?
by pepe126 on May 15, 2009 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
On a related note, that same Ralph
Was the inspiration for Walker’s name, and there is a good photoshop to go with it
wait what?
by pepe126 on May 15, 2009 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where am the photochop?
Dum spiramus tuebimur
by spectr17 on May 16, 2009 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
-1 for lack of Simpsons knowledge
As I’m writing, Pepe explained it
My goal? World domination.
by stickhandler on May 15, 2009 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
more of a South Park guy. I gave up on the Simpsons long ago
by The Admiral on May 15, 2009 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Still no excuse.. it’s from an older episode.. though it really is a throwaway line. I have no idea why it sticks in people’s minds so well other than it’s hilarious.
My roommate came up with Super Nintendo Jalmers…
by Matthew Dirt on May 16, 2009 12:03 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Buff
During the season, we called him Baby Huey in my circle – all bulk and no mean streak. We may have to drop it, but the jury is still out.
by stanfordron on May 15, 2009 4:23 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Walker
Should be “He Who Shall Not Be Named”
by clhoffy on May 15, 2009 4:37 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
mark prior would’ve never recovered from that dislocated finger walker suffered vs calgary.
by lumberjack7 on May 15, 2009 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
As a side note
When did metal make a comeback and why was I not informed?
It appears I have to get some CDs, especially Mastodon.
If I can't be a good example, I'll just be a horrible warning
by Trixietrx on May 15, 2009 4:40 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Bolland has become “Patrick,” since John Buccigross, who claims to be a huge hockey fan, referred to him as “Patrick Bolland” on Sportscenter earlier this month.
Metal didn’t make a comeback – it never left.
by Legendary on May 15, 2009 4:46 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
It went underground
when the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana came along. I’m so out of touch.
If I can't be a good example, I'll just be a horrible warning
by Trixietrx on May 15, 2009 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
What about
Don Cherry’s “I’ve been talking about this kid forever” Dave Bolland
by The Admiral on May 15, 2009 4:47 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Sunshine” for Eager, “Punch that Euro-Trash” or Eags will suffice in my opinon.
by lumberjack7 on May 16, 2009 3:24 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Forgot that one
Yes, Nikolai Harvey-Birdman
www.secondcityhockey.com
by SamFels on May 15, 2009 6:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hjalphabet?
I’ve heard Hammer called that a few times.
Huet as Lindsey Lohan?
Can’t we come up with something for Eager? That guy’s such a badass, he deserves something.
by Let'sGoHawks on May 15, 2009 6:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I still like
’Frenchy Five-Hole" for Huet.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
by HawkVision on May 15, 2009 9:06 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
haha
my brother and I have called him the French Five Hole most of the season
by runningquicklynowhere on May 16, 2009 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
my own nicknames
i personally call ben eager ‘teddy bear eager.’ Brian Campbell on blackhawkstv has also made that reference, because of how ridiculous he looks with that big blond beard.
the boys over at fifth feather named Hjalmarsson ‘ham sandwich’. I like that a lot.
I feel like any line Brouwer is on should be called the fail train.
by teddybeareager on May 15, 2009 6:50 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Eager
went to a Catholic high school in Ottawa whose school mascot was a St. Bernard named…wait for it…Bernie Mac. So you could go simple with some variation there.
or Eager sounds like it might be a German surname so you could go with something involving DAS…like Das Druck which would equal “the hit and run” I believe.
or something involving
Strafe = penalty
Strafbank = penalty box
faustkampf = fistfight
probably too confusing with those though.
by Crease Monkey on May 15, 2009 7:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
how can a guy named Eager be nicknamed anything but “beaver”?
by ahtrap on May 16, 2009 1:43 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Brouwer?
Can we call him “Almost Famous”? Or something along those lines?
by Let'sGoHawks on May 15, 2009 7:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
BROUWER POWER
Is what we use over at Hockeenight when Troy lays the lumber on somebody or (god forbid) scores a goal. Also started as part of a Simpson’s reference, as in the classic Mr. Burns line:
“Your Flower Power is no match for my BROUWER POWER”.
HOCKEENIGHT.COM
by CT II on May 15, 2009 7:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Given the trend of Hawks nicknames...
With Kaner, Tazer, etc., I’ve spent much of the season calling Brouwer “Brouwerer.”
by Lost In NC on May 15, 2009 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not that it should need explaining at this point...
but there is also “Glamorous” Kris Versteeg. I’m calling it now, Versteeg is going to wreck Detroit’s shit all series long.
by Lost In NC on May 15, 2009 10:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Not happy about the Blackhawks focus right now.
Not sure how many of you are on twitter, but I just saw reports that the guys are out at another concert tonight. Reports from all their practices make it sound like the team is really laid back and little too cocky. Way too much talk about how “fun” this series is going to be.
that's what she said
by Sportsgal on May 16, 2009 12:30 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
and you wouldn't celebrate going to the WCF with free tix to a Springsteen show? nobody in their right mind would pass that up.
by lumberjack7 on May 16, 2009 3:22 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The springsteen concert isn't the problem
The fact that they were all boozing on a rooftop Thursday during the Cubs game, then out again last night at another concert boozing, is the issue. I’m all for them celebrating how far they’ve come, but I think going on a three day bender right before the biggest series of their careers (excluding the guys who’ve won Cups) doesn’t scream “we’re focused on winning.”
This series is David vs Goliath and right now David’s acting like Goliath is only 6’2, 185lbs.
that's what she said
by Sportsgal on May 16, 2009 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
They're doing their work
I’ve read in the paper that they’ve had practices and meetings and stuff. Besides, they can’t spend ALL their time worrying about the Red Wings. That’s not any better than if they weren’t preparing at all. They just spent three weeks eating, sleeping, and breathing hockey. They need to be allowed to relax and think about something else for a bit.
"He shows up every day to play, he plays hard every day, and he shows up to beat your butt." ~Ozzie Guillen on AJ Pierzynski, 3-17-09
R.I.P. Harry Kalas 4-13-09
by HappyHuman on May 16, 2009 3:18 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
You wouldn’t want them to stay focused 24/7 or they’d overthink and get away from what’s made them successful all season. They had some time off, and I’m glad they’re staying loose. As long as they’re not getting arrested it’s fine by me.
by hawksfan21 on May 16, 2009 7:16 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
may we forever know “VERSTEEG!!!” as “J.R.-2: Electric Boogaloo”? Or a shortened version there of?
I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that the kind gent from Saskatchewan that shares a number with “Stumpy” is getting Biblical with our favorite Mouth Piece Sports reporter.
I digress out of jealousy and being stuck in the hockey gulag that is the (816).
MPS, if im our of line on this assumption, come th Big XII country and we’ll have a proper duel.
Your terms.
Pistols or Sabres(pre1996, preferably)
I demand satisfaction!!!
fuck it all, no regrets!!!
Grienke is our new Shogun!!!
by lumberjack7 on May 16, 2009 3:20 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Here is a list of some positive and not so positive nicknames.
(All of the derogatory names are usually preceeded by the adjective *F**king")
Patrick Kane Kaner, or Patty Cake
Jonathan Toews Tazer or Toes. Playoff beard version, Wolverine or Elvis
Pat Versteeg Steeger or Verstink
Martin Havlat Havi or Havnot
Christobal Huet Suet (Pig call with a french accent)
Dustin Byfuglien During most of the regular season something similar to the previous mentioned f***wad. Right now it’s Big Buff or just plain Buff.
Brian Campbell Soups or Dumbell
Ben Eager Big Ben or Ben Meager
Also, I’d like to add No Check Olczyk for our color commentator.
by cdz3210 on May 16, 2009 10:18 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Used to be...
Eddie “get your purse” Nocheck
by chefofthefuture on May 16, 2009 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't shoot ...
Treading on enemy ground here; been reading for a while and figure this (hopefully) epic matchup makes for a good time to drop in. Hawks fans or not, you’ve got a good thing here. “Jesus Havlat Christ” is hilarious by the way.
www.thetripledeke.blogspot.com
by TDTyler on May 16, 2009 10:45 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Who's that guy in the Sharp jersey in that photo?
Got more soul than a sock with a hole.
by chrome on May 16, 2009 12:38 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
hahahah I was thinking the same thing…
by PepeSilvia on May 16, 2009 9:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Gentle Ben
My friend and I like the Ben Hogan nickname for eager but sunshine is damn good. On another note the party dave for bolland is to good. I can’t take credit for it but whover tried to get that as his nickname on this website earlier in the year I thank you. After the big goal against the canucks in game 5 we joked that Toews told party dave thre was strippers and a keg hiding in the canucks net.
by Bhilk on May 16, 2009 7:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
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