I wrote up a little something at herecomethehawks.net regarding this. Likely a opus of sarcasm and passive aggressive language. Here's what I think it might look like.
Dear Buffalo Cabbie who tarnished my public image by accusing me of felonies, charges a Buffalo Grand Jury said were unfounded, I have to write you a letter of apology. The court ordered me to do so. I too was unaware that Buffalo's judicial system was most similar to a 4th grade classroom.
So, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for acting a bit rashly at some ungodly hour of the morning and for supposedly beating you up, something that has never been proven true or untrue. But we both know what happened.
So really, I'm sorry for making a cool couple million dollars per season and for you thinking you could cash in on a bit of that money by accusing me of crimes that could have put me in prison.
Thanks for that....
Again, after all of that saga, all I have to do is write a letter of apology. If this was a practical joke, I have to say, well done; elaborate and grand.
You won't have to worry about being bothered anymore about this incident. Though in your very public line of work, I am sure you will have to hear about this incident nearly every day for the rest of your professional life.
Oh wait, that's me...
So yeah, I guess I'm sorry.
And remember, this all could have been settled with an autographed jersey. So I really appreciate the last few weeks. Remember to clean off your shoes, I'm sure dragging me through the mud made them quite dirty
Your biggest fan,