Time To Get On The Soapbox
by SamFels on Jan 27, 2010 4:19 PM CST
229 comments
I don't know why I feel the need to get out in front of this, but I'm going to because I'm bored and I'm not doing anything anyway (I'm sure someone would like to insert a masturbation joke here, but I'll leave that to you). After the photos that came out yesterday, I am positive that Rick Morrissey, or David Haugh, or Barry Rozner, or whatever other columnist who make up the pathetic collection of writers we have in this city is going to bleat on about something having to do with the Hawks not taking their jobs seriously (almost certainly out of jealousy). We've seen both the Habs and Flyers come in for the same type of criticism from their city's media.
In the utmost honesty, I could not give a flying, driving, running, walking, or crawling fuck what the Hawks do away from the rink. Never have I watched a game where I thought, "Man, these guys are hungover and wasting my money." Patrick Kane could snort a pint glass of coke off of a stripper's tits every night, and as long as he put up a point per game, it'd be fine with me. The only problem I have is the women in this picture look like ones McClure and I would be hitting on at Oakwood at 3:35am on a Tuesday. But whatever, to each his own. With the occasional stinker aside, as long as the Hawks leave it on the ice, they can leave whatever they want on the bar room floor, bathroom, or skank's stomach they please.
-For the record, in the most technical terms I'm half-jewish, but have never been to a religious service of any kind, and find organized religion an utter crock of shit, but am accepting and jealous of those who find meaning from it. I don't view my status as a member of a certain tribe as a license to do whatever jokes I want. I write and perform jokes that are funny, and that is all. But in the interest of fairness, for the rest of the day this blog will be completely Christian: i.e. humorless, ignorant, and completely fearful and hating of women. There, I feel better.
-The Committed Indian Ombudsman (also known as my brother) has suggested the following three nicknames for Troy Brouwer. Hey, we'll do a poll!
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rosenbloom
already did this. it was very typical and awful. go look if you feel like it @ chicagosports.com.
this post rules and the pictures are pretty fucking funny. that is all.
"...can i have a glass of whiskey and a slice of bread?"
I wish that clown would allow comments on his columns.
I’d like to ask him if he was out partying last night, which would give him some excuse for his typically weak effort on this subject. Of course, IMO, nearly all of his columns are suckishly full of hatred and jealousy of athletes, and simply suckish, so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he were out partying every single night.
I do much better when I don’t read his columns . . .
click on the title of the column
you will then be able to post a comment at the end
Me and my buddy always make jokes about how Kane is knee deep in pussy at all times. But, as my favorite hockey player and maybe favorite athlete, I was depressed to see the full on catchers mitt that he was sitting next to in that limo.
The picture of John Madden flexing is priceless. You could just see what he is thinking as makes that ridiculous face……“Jesus Christ, I shouldn’t be here.”
as I said in one of the other threads..........
Madden’s presence is the only thing that I find even remotely odd in any of those pictures.
"In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching."
I thought we all agreed....
Madden was the perfect choice to mentor the youngsters on this team.
Looks to me like he’s doing a bang up job.
He’s teaching the lazy midget, “Fuck that cab shit, ya gotta go limo!”
I’m waiting for the pictures of him sniffing the coke off strippers tits, then we can say “Today you are a man.”
Like Sam said, as long as they get it done one the ice, who cares.
I love this team.
Madden to his wife today:
“Honey, I was trying to teach the kids about what kind of women not to mess with, and things went horribly, horribly wrong…”
Chicagoan in the Lou.
by Mike Martin on Jan 27, 2010 4:39 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Madden seeks advice:
Tiger, how should I handle this?
1) Hide all of your Hockey Sticks
2) Back your car into the driveway
and so on…
"My Father's name is Jack, and my mother's name is Daniels..."
I'm waiting to see pictures...
Of the comparable Canucks party limo from that night. I’m betting it’s Kesler, Burrows, and the Sedins, and it looks pretty similar. Except replace the champagne and women with appletinis and black dildos. Oh, and Willie Mitchell in a gimp suit.
...Feeding Rene Bourque his own dick since 11/19/09
by Hjammer of the Gods on Jan 27, 2010 4:33 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Puck Daddy comments on the photos
“Are those Kesler and Burrows’ sisters?”
“Those ARE Kesler and Burrows”
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
by chiblackhawks on Jan 27, 2010 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
Kesler must have been disappointed
doesn’t he normally play the gimp?
I’ve been stalking reading this site daily for about 1.5 years and I feel like I need to apologize in advance that a photo of this bitch is my first post.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Jan 28, 2010 12:42 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Thanks
As someone who grew up near the stadium and learned to hate the scum at an early age from my dad, it’s hard to believe that the likes of Kesler, Michell and Burrows have made it to the top of my douchebag list this year instead of (insert any 3 scum names here). My brain is having a hard time processing that.
It’s probably comparable to the confusion the British felt as the band played “The World Turned Upside Down” after they lost to the colonies – or that I had when the Hawks signed Probert in ’95.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Jan 28, 2010 2:10 PM CST up reply actions
Caption:
Ladder, you big coward. Come here and I’ll show you what a real man looks like.
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
by chiblackhawks on Jan 28, 2010 1:26 PM CST up reply actions
“you want a piece of me? How bout this piece?”
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
"oh yeah, big boy, how do you like me now?"
in retrospect, this explains SO MUCH about why he pulled that MMA move on Ladd….
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
by chiblackhawks on Jan 28, 2010 2:00 PM CST up reply actions
makes you wonder
if that’s his bra on the bedpost
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
This might explain more
I’m not sure I’m a fan of the new alternate uniforms that the Nucks rolled out last night against St. Louis, but I must admit Kesler looked ferociously sweet in his.
He had 3 pts and received the game’s 3rd star. Apparently they give out medals for that in Vancouver. Hence, Kesler got bronze and was very proud…
by ChicagoNativeSon on Jan 28, 2010 2:24 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Funny jokes are funny
If you are offended, don’t laugh.
Or better yet, insert Polish, Italian, Armenian, Wasp, Chinaman, Jap, Arab, etc. as the ethnicity.
Than I’ll bet you;ll laugh
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
Nothing like a good Armenian joke
especially if you live in Glendale, CA
Toewsian
Kaneian
Brouwerian
Keithian
Seabrookian
Top line names if the Hawks were Armenian
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
If you change the y to a u and the f to a t
you get the chicks in the limo
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
by laaarmer on Jan 27, 2010 5:34 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Speaking of Dustin
Did he run off with all of the attractive women?
by warrenjm2006 on Jan 28, 2010 10:46 AM CST up reply actions
string cheese ... Armenians ...
Johnny Fresno!!!
ah, how I miss Firesign Theater.
by krome on Jan 27, 2010 9:55 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
couldnt agree more
I probably visit this site twice a day, after reading this post I felt compelled to finally join in.
I completely agree with you here. Infact, if Kane’s production stopped I’d probably buy him a stripper and an 8-ball myself.
Keep up the great work.
I'm more concerned with the fact that they're stripping down to their skivvies, yet these girls are still fully clothed.
Ugly or not, our guys have to demand reciprocation from these strumpets.
Second City Hockey Most Postingest Poster of 2009
NOW STOP IT RIGHT HERE
Well, they very well may have, I’m just guessing they were smart (or lucky) enough not to have it show up in a photo. Some commenter somewhere else said maybe “Canadian girls are smarter”
a little chippy: a blog, mostly hockey
don't knock the
quality of trim in that limo. The Hawks were just doing their due diligence after a bad game. I believe Mark Grace called those ladies “slump busters.”
Personally, I’m glad to see it, though the 36-year-old Madden definitely looks like a creepy uncle figure there.
by MHC23 on Jan 27, 2010 4:48 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
A-Fucking-MEN
Let’s just all move on and go wild with the 20-cent and limo party (god, sounds a lot like lemon party, no?) jokes.
And anyway, at least Kane’s apologized for it.
Two other orders of business:
1. You gotta try harder than that with the nicknames.
2. Where did Pierre LeBrun say the Hawks made a call to the Thrashers about Kovalchuk? This is a serious question— I’m taking everything with a grain of salt from here on out unless I hear it straight from the horse’s (figurative) mouth.
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
damn i wish that apology was real, cuz it was perfect
too bad people cant say what theyre really thinking, cuz you know kaner would if he could
Bwhahahaha!
OK, the one with VERSTEEG! was cute but who the fuck dressed her?
Also, I think we should call Brouw Judas Maccabee.
2009 SCH Post Whore
2010 Troll Collector
Judas Maccabee
I have to go change my pants
because I pissed them
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
She looks like the uptight PR girl who is supposed to keep them in check and failing to do so.
But yes, she is cute.
The other two… well, I bet they’re nice girls. There, I said something positive.
Second City Hockey Most Postingest Poster of 2009
NOW STOP IT RIGHT HERE
There is
no way Vancouver has the hottest girls in Canada
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
meeshak
our local expert on Hot Canadian Girls
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
montreal.
has the hottest mega babes in canada, perhaps the world.
by bangbangerang on Jan 27, 2010 8:52 PM CST up reply actions
major reply fail
not reading who posted
i’m an idiot
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
but you're right
they are kicking me out.
although, to tie in with the jewish discussions earlier, my stuttering jewish boss wants to live vicariously with me and keeps telling me to be a little nasty with the women. so, that guy, he’s talking about sponsoring my visa. maybe i won’t be returning to the good country in two weeks after all.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
"live vicariously WITH me"
i can’t figure that out. Except in a sick sad way
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 27, 2010 10:58 PM CST up reply actions
Hot Maybe..
…I was up there a year ago for a bachelor party -they’re all Frog snobs. All their eurotrash boyfriends made the clubs feel lke Jersey Shore to the North
by Bonvie5ForFighting on Jan 28, 2010 10:00 AM CST up reply actions
Nickname
How about “The Other” seeing as he’s not exactly a daydreamer? Or what about “Enhancer” making Toews/Kane look even better? A play on words involving Tuberculosis (TB)?
"It's a great day for hockey!" -Badger Bob Johnson
by Madhouse IN Madison on Jan 27, 2010 5:01 PM CST reply actions
Tuberculosis is a stretch
But obviously, if you go that route, it’s gotta be ‘Lunger.’ (Taken from one of my favorite movies ever.)
...Feeding Rene Bourque his own dick since 11/19/09
by Hjammer of the Gods on Jan 27, 2010 5:04 PM CST up reply actions
Turtle?
cuz he only gets some due to the other guys?
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
T-Bone!
Meat off the bone. Bloody red. With a side of crushed glass. Washed down with gasoline. They call it a Brasky.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jan 28, 2010 3:48 PM CST up reply actions
I vote for Ganon
Kane wields the triforce of wisdon
Toews the triforce of courage
Brower (aka Ganon) the triforce of POWER
NERDALERT NERDALERT NERDALERT
Awesome!
But I’m gonna have to switch ‘em up…
Toews is probably the smartest (wisest) player on the squad
Kaner’s got plenty of power (points-wise, that 180lbs notwithstanding)
So that leaves Brouwer with courage = LINK.
"It's a great day for hockey!" -Badger Bob Johnson
by Madhouse IN Madison on Jan 27, 2010 5:50 PM CST up reply actions
I Really like this....
Also a huge Zelda nerd. Brouw would def. be the Courage wielder. He goes to the front of the net.
Personally, for a season and a half now, me and my buddy call him “30 Days of Night” because of his resemblance to the vampires in that movie.
by DudeMcnude on Jan 27, 2010 6:21 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
New rule
All you Zelda nerds have to self identify in advance so we can just skip over your comments. Please respect our time, it’s in short supply.
well then..
guess you’ll have to skip every post I write – I’m one of the bigger Zelda nerds ever..
by Matthew Dirt on Jan 28, 2010 10:06 AM CST up reply actions
i really wish i wasn't such a zelda nerd myself
because now i’m ashamed for the both of us.
In one of the game threads a while back
Someone (wish I could remember who it was, or even what game thread) suggested “Bowser” as a nickname for Troy. As in, the dragon from Super Mario Bros. Thought that was pretty good.
And anyone who wants to bitch about Kane in the pictures has to deal with one fact before I can take them seriously: Kane is an awesome hockey player, and the one doing the bitching is almost certainly a petty sexually frustrated douche.
by Brian C on Jan 27, 2010 6:12 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
+1
I like Bowser as a nickname for TBro. As an added bonus it lends itself to all kinds of hilarious photoshops. Pretty sure Bowser was a turtle, though, not a dragon.
by spokeinthebandwagon on Jan 27, 2010 9:32 PM CST up reply actions
Browser?
That sound too much like a wierdo leafing through an old porn mag?
Welcome to the Glibert Arenas Gun Show.
by AirTrafficAJ on Jan 27, 2010 9:46 PM CST up reply actions
That was me
And I still think it kind of fits his style of play – particularly earlier in the year when the dude was shattering glass boards like there’s a nav unit on the dashboard.
But it never really caught on.
Just because your friend says she saw me in the club with some other bitches,
sitting in V.I.P,
Smoking, and drinking, and kicking it.
by chrome on Jan 27, 2010 10:11 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I would be amazed if those pictures are real. Some of the angles those photoshopped heads are at are pretty busted neck looking.
by runningquicklynowhere on Jan 27, 2010 6:18 PM CST reply actions
prepare to be AMAZED!
the Hawks have confirmed the authenticity of the photos. Give it up; the boys have a night life (and bad taste). Deal with it.
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
by chiblackhawks on Jan 27, 2010 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
I have no problem dealing with it, in fact I fully expect it. The Girl to Kane’s right just looks goofy as hell and like her head is on someone else’s body.
by runningquicklynowhere on Jan 28, 2010 12:23 AM CST up reply actions
I liked the brown one.
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
by ZootSuitZombie on Jan 27, 2010 6:47 PM CST up reply actions
I'm calling BULLSHIT
Obviously we might expect higher standards from our rich heroes but every guy on this chatblog message room would take down at least 2 of the 3 chicks in the limo- especially a night drinking out of town with buddies after a sporting event. I’m talking flannel and Steeg’s girl. Every guy calling them ‘busted’ would be all over them at West End after a Hawks win
Brouwer nickname
I don’t know who came up with it, but I have always been fond of calling Brouwer “truck.” It’s really fun to chant it after he scores. Plus, he does have truck-like qualitites.
How about a mastodon inspired name for brouwer?
He shares the same name as the bassist/vocalist. By the way, anyone else wish he was getting as much vocal duty as before? I don’t like brent’s voice as much and it seems like he’s the “lead” singer now.
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
Mastodon
I’d be all for a Mastodon inspired nickname, as I think he bears more than a slight resemblance to the aforementioned Troy Sanders, on top of sharing a name (though I could be way off base in seeing that – wouldn’t be the first time). Given the name of their DVD that came out (The Workhorse Chronicles)and what Troy Brouwer brings to the table, I’d like to submit simply “Workhorse”.
Take a look for yourselves——
Troy Sanders of Mastodon, Front and Center
Troy Brouwer
The Workhorse Chronicles.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
In that picture....
Troy Sanders looks like the love child of Troy Brouwer and Gerard Butler.
"In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching."
I'm on board with this
Mastodon is it for me – that and the fact it’s one of the best burgers at Kuma’s.
"...about six feet from the moose's butt."
by The Fearless Freep on Jan 28, 2010 9:15 AM CST up reply actions
god damn it Kuma's had a 3-hour wait on Saturday at 430, just insane.
but i need some BEEF maybe i will try to go tonight.
by Canseco's Roid Party on Jan 28, 2010 9:32 AM CST up reply actions
I am also
into Workhorse. Also i think ‘Crusher Destroyer’ works very well for brouwer. any way to work Mastodon into this I am totally on board with.
Kuma’s is heaven.
"...can i have a glass of whiskey and a slice of bread?"
by west_fulton on Jan 28, 2010 10:30 AM CST up reply actions
make a chest hair poll
Those party limo pictures got me thinking about it and it seems like since magnum PI went off the air chest hair isn’t nearly as abundant. I want to know who else on the site has the me want honeycomb monster under their shirt.
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
head to toes
some cultures believe its a sign of virility
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
not a full rug on the chest by any means
but a number of people have mistaken my leg hair for tights
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
The only places missing are two spots where they put the heart monitor leads when I had surgery. 3.5 years later and that little disposable razor they used is still making me look ridiculous(er).
by Original Six on Jan 27, 2010 11:01 PM CST up reply actions
Kinda looks like him too
I never was sure just exactly was going on in C.D.‘s house…I guess it’s a secret, kinda like Buff’s game….only he knows what’s going on in there
I guess Tiger was pulling a reverse Happy Gilmore, taking up hockey and going five hole all over the place???
by LoneBlackhawkFanInMS on Jan 27, 2010 7:33 PM CST up reply actions
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_P4EoOnKDYUw/SU1huSgxifI/AAAAAAAACy8/ykI5z5SjI-4/s400/CuddlyDuddly.jpg
I guess Tiger was pulling a reverse Happy Gilmore, taking up hockey and going five hole all over the place???
by LoneBlackhawkFanInMS on Jan 27, 2010 7:35 PM CST up reply actions
link fail
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_P4EoOnKDYUw/SU1huSgxifI/AAAAAAAACy8/ykI5z5SjI-4/s400/CuddlyDuddly.jpg
I guess Tiger was pulling a reverse Happy Gilmore, taking up hockey and going five hole all over the place???
by LoneBlackhawkFanInMS on Jan 27, 2010 7:36 PM CST up reply actions
oh man...
Yup. Cuddly Duddy… wasn’t that a news paper promotion?
My sister had one…
"My Father's name is Jack, and my mother's name is Daniels..."
He was on Ray Rayner
and I remember like a 2 foot stuffed Cuddly-Dudley given away by the Tribune.
Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!
THIS
In times like these...well you know...
by LoneBlackhawkFanInMS on Jan 27, 2010 9:43 PM CST up reply actions
Celebrities are just like us! They go hogging and every so often take home a 3 or 4!
by Section325psychofans on Jan 27, 2010 7:29 PM CST reply actions
I see nothing wrong with their lifestyle.
by Hi, I'm Bob LeDonne on Jan 27, 2010 7:38 PM CST reply actions
they burn the herpes out
in extra practice sessions
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
Is that why Seabrook
always says “C’mon boys let’s get a good drip”?
September 26, 2007 The day a Franchise was reborn.
I had to look that one up
top Google result was a reviews page and this was showing: “One word comes to mind when I think of the Oakwood 83: FILTH! Unfortunately, I have been to this sewer of a bar a few…”
surprised I don’t know that one…I’ve practically memorized the “Chicago’s Best Dive Bars” book that came out a few years back (and have made it my goal to go to the ones that are still open)
a little chippy: a blog, mostly hockey
Nice to see a fellow Lincoln Square-ian.
Chances are you’ve probably seen me take my pants off at the Huettenbar, then.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
The girl with the tablecloth shirt either:
A) Got punched in the mouth
B) Has a rose-hued Hitler ’stache
C) HERPES HERPES HERPES
The other one flanking Kaner looks like a coked-out MILF-porn reject.
… and Amish Kate Hudson is cute, but that expression is pretty vacant, leading me to believe she’s about as intelligent is the real Kate Hudson.
Now that the superficial judgments are out of the way, who—excepting Madden’s wife—really gives a shit?
Second City Hockey Most Postingest Poster of 2009
NOW STOP IT RIGHT HERE
by mjthor on Jan 27, 2010 8:03 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Erie County District Attorney Frank Sedita?
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
Amish Kate Hudson
honestly, I don’t think Versteeg is going for brains. Something tells me if we’d get a pretty vacant look from steeger too if we tried to discuss the dearly departed Howard Zinn
by Matthew Dirt on Jan 28, 2010 9:57 AM CST up reply actions
Think he tries to "stickhandle" through as many as possible?
Welcome to the Glibert Arenas Gun Show.
by AirTrafficAJ on Jan 28, 2010 11:51 AM CST up reply actions
Like anyone else...
whatever you do when you’re “off the clock” is none of our business. The thing I have a problem with is that they were stupid enough to pose for pictures and obviously forgot about that thing called the interwebs.
"FACEOFF!" "Makes the pass." "FIGHT!" - 8 bit hockey
Wow…one of the most entertaining blog entries I’ve ever read. I’m a Sharks fan, but also a fan of hockey as a sport, and, of course, entertaining writing. I’ll pop in here more often now, regardless of how tomorrow night turns out (should be a good one, whichever way it goes).
The only “beat writer” we have for San Jose, David Pollak, is a pretty sad example as well. He essentially just asks the team questions, both players and coaches, reports news about the team, and bitches/muses about his travel experiences whilst “covering” the Sharks. I genuinely believe he knows nothing about hockey, as he provides zero analysis of his own. Then again, I think it’s safe to say that the Western Conference, at the westernmost American portion of it, is already the red-headed stepchild of sorts.
by OtherKid on Jan 27, 2010 8:32 PM CST via mobile reply actions
welcome
we’re nice to most visitors around here. obviously I’m biased, but I think this deserves to be one of the blogs read by other teams’ fans (I have a few other faves on SBN).
too bad to hear you also have to deal with lousy writers despite having one of the top teams…
a little chippy: a blog, mostly hockey
Regarding stepchildren...
The woefully unbalanced travel schedule is proof positive that the West is the “Red-Head”…
I still cannot believe they had the Ducks in Chicago 2 consecutive Sundays. How the bleep does that happen?
and the East coast teams basically play with themselves… so to speak.
"My Father's name is Jack, and my mother's name is Daniels..."
East
does have an easier travel schedule. Yet many of their teams suck. Odd
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
Why does anyone have a reaction to those photos other than uproarious laughter?
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
by meeshak on Jan 27, 2010 8:34 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
mothers, fathers, signifigant others….
they matter not to us.
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
if i were kaner's dad
i’d be laughing my ass off
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
not a good dad. Kane is on conditional discharge (no, thats not the stain on the girls clothes)
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
last i checked
picking up a couple 3’s is not illegal, it’s frowned upon.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
I’m sure no alcohol was involved
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 27, 2010 11:00 PM CST up reply actions
With the proper consumption of alcohol
there is no such thing as a “3”.
Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!
Doesn't matter anymore
1) Legal drinking age in B.C. is 19
2) He’s 21 now..
by Matthew Dirt on Jan 28, 2010 10:00 AM CST up reply actions
unless part of his plea-deal includes am alcohol treatment program or related restrictions. Judges are hitting pro-athletes pretty hard lately. I’m sure this one incident isn’t enough to revoke his probation, but if another thing like this goes public there could be problems.
But I don’t know the details of his probation so this is just speculation.
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 28, 2010 10:14 AM CST up reply actions
OJ aside, athletes don’t typically any different treatment than anyone else. Kane’s punishment would be the same whether or not he was a really, really, really, good hockey player. The first judge to asign a harsher penalty to someone because of their occupation would have their ruling struck down in 2 seconds by the appeals court.
Considering they charged him with a misdemeanor, as long as he doesn’t do anything illegal, he can get drunk and hook up with all the ugly chicks he wants.
as the late, great George Carlin once said-
I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2’s.
by Canseco's Roid Party on Jan 28, 2010 9:35 AM CST up reply actions
Because parents today now require other people to help them with their children, and of course they turn to those pillars of maturity and responsibility that is the professional athlete. After all, when you’ve villainized just about every other person who has any contact with your kid (your parents fucked you up, so you can’t trust them; teachers are overpaid windbags who are always whining about your lack of “involvement”), you have no choice but to turn to a stranger for teaching your precious little mistake life lessons.
Occam's Razor keeps the cutting clean.
by russellguldin on Jan 27, 2010 8:39 PM CST up reply actions
I like the fact that it is availible for 0.01$
/Note unceasing sarcastic laughter in background.
by burpchelischili on Jan 28, 2010 5:24 AM CST up reply actions
agreed
I wish a little less of the laughter was at the expense of how the women look, but I can understand why people think athletes should only be surrounded by the hottest ones…
as long as everyone is of age, and wants to be there, I don’t care what athletes are doing in their leisure time…I’m surprised more photos like this don’t get out there
a little chippy: a blog, mostly hockey
the women jokes
it’s only because they’re athletes and all the guys on this blog want to believe that if we had just been born with an unnatural athletic ability, we’d be able to take home a different supermodel every night, and get paid a few million to do it.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
look at Tiger
he likes waitresses
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 27, 2010 11:04 PM CST up reply actions
Coupla random thoughts
1. Ugly chicks try harder?
2. Our vision of the glamorous life is wrong. But dammit, the truth is more democratic. This is a good thing. Look around people- I don’t see any celebrities here, but there’s plenty of worse for wear and just plain hard on the eyes out there.
I figured the whole thing out
They could be masseusses (real ones), and you just don’t see the massage tables in the background.
2009 SCH Post Whore
2010 Troll Collector
How can anyone make the claim that the Hawks aren’t taking their jobs seriously? Do any of these douches not allow themselves a drink after work if they wrote a shitty column that day? (Trick question, unless none of them have touched a drop of alcohol in years)
If I wrote like Rozner
I’d be doing mounds of blow every night.
Welcome to the Glibert Arenas Gun Show.
by AirTrafficAJ on Jan 27, 2010 9:48 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Mounds of blow
is the catalyst for his ramblings, I think. Either way, effective use of “mounds of blow” will usually get a rec’d from me, and so you shall have it. Bravo.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
Anyone who played sports knows
the normal standards of attractiveness go out the window on road trips.
Just because your friend says she saw me in the club with some other bitches,
sitting in V.I.P,
Smoking, and drinking, and kicking it.
You're telling me by Carolina
they’ll be trying to tap this?
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
I doubt that,
but you never know.
There could be a Messier on the team.
Just because your friend says she saw me in the club with some other bitches,
sitting in V.I.P,
Smoking, and drinking, and kicking it.
Why can't these guys do this in Chicago?
I’m available for week night limo rides. I’ve got no job, WTF else am I going to do? And any pictures I take will NOT be posted anywhere or sent to anyone. I am really dying to know how these 4’s got these guys to take off their shirts and pants.
"Another successful interaction with a man!" - Liz Lemon
oh so now it’s cool?
Just need to be a real fan to get all gushy over their hotness?
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 27, 2010 11:22 PM CST up reply actions
You're really fucking annoying me, you know that?
Why are you always reading into my comments as me saying they’re hot or wanting to fuck them or any other puck bunny-esque statement? I’m curious about the WHY. That’s it. I think it would be fucking hysterical to be in that limo ride.
Get off my back already, asshole.
"Another successful interaction with a man!" - Liz Lemon
by Sportsgal on Jan 27, 2010 11:31 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
sorry
really. I’ll shut up..after this
Just a few days ago you were going off about girls paying attention to the Hawks cause they’re cute. “they were good looking 3 years ago” is basically what you said.
Just find that funny is all
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
by Johnny Lava on Jan 27, 2010 11:39 PM CST up reply actions
they were
and they are now, but those puck bunnies weren’t at the UC three years ago.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
and i'm guessing Sportsgal was
didn’t finish my reply.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
My comments a few days ago and the ones tonight are completely unrelated.
The Tribune had some bitch write a column encouraging women to watch hockey because the guys are cute. In other words, don’t learn anything about the sport… wear slutty clothes to the games in the hopes you’ll get seen and picked up like a groupie at a rock concert. That column pissed me off because it basically made it sound like the fact that I have a vagina means I’m too stupid to be able to pick up the rules of a sport, and I can only enjoy sports by using them as an excuse to pick up guys.
If I saw a picture of three of my guy friends in a limo with their shirts and pants off with a bunch of mediocre-looking broads, I’d laugh my ass off and wish I was there to witness those events.
"Another successful interaction with a man!" - Liz Lemon
They should make them wear full cages
Not only would we have a harder time judging players by their looks but if they were super hot they would be almost guaranteed to stay pretty.
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
by ZootSuitZombie on Jan 28, 2010 12:06 AM CST up reply actions
A cautinary tale...
…about the mental lives of men v. women.
I follow everything you say, Sportsgal, but man, it’s complicated.
One Goal: Be the Shoot the Puck Girl and end up in Kane's Limo...
not really my goal, but I agree 100% with Sportsgal. It’s not that complicated. Yeah, some of the Hawks are hot, but that’s not why (all) girls go to the UC. I am personally embarrased when the only words out of my friend’s mouth after a Hawks goal are “Was that Sharpie?” followed by a high pitched squeal.
by blackhawkeyes on Jan 28, 2010 12:23 PM CST up reply actions
I see your friend and I have at least one thing in common.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
I'll put in a good word for you
she’s definitely more attractive than the homely ladies from Vancouver
by blackhawkeyes on Jan 28, 2010 12:43 PM CST up reply actions
When Sharp scored the shootout winner against Colorado on 11/11
my little sister jumped up and down while smacking me in the head, out of pure joy……..my littler sister is 23.
"In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching."
"I am really dying to know how these 4’s got these guys to take off their shirts and pants."
they whispered “blow job” into each of their ears.
Matt Cooke is a turd burglar. He burgles ALL the turds.
That’s Kopeckeys job damnit!
/Note unceasing sarcastic laughter in background.
by burpchelischili on Jan 28, 2010 10:52 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Now we need to rank the hotness
I would say Lalime #1 but he’s gone now… bolland kind of looks like dude from green day. Is that hot?
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
by ZootSuitZombie on Jan 28, 2010 12:04 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
As long as Patrick Sharp is on this team, there is no debate.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
by McClure on Jan 28, 2010 12:05 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
No way dude
He doesn’t even have lips. My future ex-wife thinks toews is the hottest. If I remember correctly burish is a close second. They don’t call him the womb destroyer for nothing.
They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!
by ZootSuitZombie on Jan 28, 2010 12:07 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
It's easy.....
Sharpie is the obvious number one. Not just by dude’s standards. Every hockey fan female I know in person has a crush on Sharpie.
Burwood is number 2 because…..well…..he’s fuckin’ Burwood!
by DudeMcnude on Jan 28, 2010 3:08 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
UTERUS KILLER
get it right or he Burish will come for you daughters, sisters, mother, grandmother.
Equal opportunity that guy is
Second City Hockey
by Battery on Jan 28, 2010 4:24 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
My Wife
painted “19” on her vibe. Should i be concerned ?
by Bonvie5ForFighting on Jan 28, 2010 10:13 AM CST up reply actions
I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to say......
that I am quite jealous of Brent Seabrook’s hair……
"In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching."
I just rec'd the entirety of this thread
Because you’re all ranking the hotness of Hawks players and none of you are women.
Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.
by chiblackhawks on Jan 28, 2010 8:35 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
I’m comfortable enough in my sexuality to say that I’d pick Hendry as my first date. He’s quiet, which leads me to believe he’d be gentle. Also, he’s not yet been anointed a true star and so I’d stand a real chance of limo-landing him. Of course, I live in Nova Scotia, so it’s girls for me still, unfortunately.
www.mjt.org
by ChicoMaki on Jan 28, 2010 9:56 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
this is great
Your thought process through this series of what-if’s is fucking hilarious. The fact that you consider things like how gentle the guy would be and how likely you would be to score with him…definitely deserving of a rec
well...
I’m no longer living in chicago and don’t have the access to the local media (actually that’s good)
I don’t when those pictures occurred.
If it was the night before the vancouver game. I’m pissed, cause they looked like shit that night.
If it was after the game, the boys blowing of some steam with some (regretably) chicks after a shitty game. Then I don’t give a flying fuck. We have a young team. You have to be a puritan fuckhead to think that young guys aren’t going to party.
If that was the guys blowing off steam after a terrible game in Vancouver. then so what? Heck, if you widened the frame on the picture you would have actually noticed that Coach Q was there too, he was a hockey player too, after all.
Madden’s involvement surprises me, but doesn’t upset me.
Honestly the only way I think I might care is if I saw someone who wears a letter on their jersey making an ass of themselves, because they represent the club as a whole. However, I would of died of shock to see Tazer in that picture. I don’t think Tazer knows what fun is.
by Detroit Must Die on Jan 28, 2010 2:51 AM CST reply actions
6 months ago
you would have thought the same thing about Tiger not knowing how to have fun.
It’s the quiet, reserved, serious ones that you have to watch out for.
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
I bet Tazer likes to get real nasty with the girls.
All right, come on, dummy, you won the game. Come on. Pick up your trophy.
Easy there
I just like to watch him play hockey.
Don’t want to know anything else.
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
Take a look
At sportsgal’s profile pic. Captain Awesome knows how to have a good time…he just wants to kick your ass at it.
Welcome to the Glibert Arenas Gun Show.
by AirTrafficAJ on Jan 28, 2010 8:10 AM CST up reply actions
It's always the quiet ones who turn out really freaky.
Besides, there are embarrassing pictures of Captain Serious floating around the internet if you look for them.
< cough> beer bong </ cough>
by spokeinthebandwagon on Jan 28, 2010 9:46 AM CST up reply actions
Not too much confidence from Fear the Fin tonight
http://www.fearthefin.com/2010/1/28/1273086/sharks-gameday-the-not-so-imporant#storyjump
"All questions must be submitted in writing"
Talk about your nutshells!
“[I] find organized religion an utter crock of shit, but am accepting and jealous of those who find meaning from it.”
Can I use this?
conspiracy?
The timing of this seems odd. Last week Fleury was on CSN promoting his new book and signing copies of it at a local bookstore. Maybe he paid Madden to take the boys out and do something crazy so he can get some free pub like this from the Suntimes
That happened in January 2003, when Theo Fleury and Phil Housley took young teammate Tyler Arnason to a strip club in Columbus, Ohio. Fleury, who had a long history of alcohol and drug abuse, reportedly got into a fight with a bouncer and appeared at the morning skate the next day with a badly bruised face.
SCH Resident Idiot
The only Cup we can win is this years
I have pics
Of the Theo Fleury , Graham James, Sheldon Kennedy Limo ride. No girls though
by Bonvie5ForFighting on Jan 28, 2010 10:17 AM CST up reply actions
kind of gross actually
lots of footplay
by Bonvie5ForFighting on Jan 28, 2010 10:46 AM CST up reply actions
This is ridiculous
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/morrissey/2016007,CST-SPT-morrissey28.article
Apparently opponents will play dirtier against the hawks b/c of the picture. I wish I got paid to write.
Probably true
considering that was actually a bachelorette party for Willie Mitchell’s fiance
by Bonvie5ForFighting on Jan 28, 2010 10:40 AM CST up reply actions
you must have meant
a bachelor party for willie mitchell’s fiance
Patrick Kane, Kris Versteeg and John Madden look so not like hockey players in these shots that I don’t think I’ll be able to look at them the same way again. Once you’ve seen battle-scarred Bob Probert, the prototype of what a hockey player is supposed to look like tends to stay with you.
Yeah, the prototype…so I guess the next step, Rick, would be to get these guys to alcoholic-cokehead levels, ya know, like Proby was? THEN they’ll look like what hockey players are suppose to look like. Great example. The SunTimes really writes checks to you? And you cash them in for US dollars? Wow.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
I'm now thinking those pictures were staged
nothing gets the douchebaggery of sports writers and radio guys more excited than something like this. It’s like ozzie calling marrioti a faggot. Completely irrelevant but sure got the sox a lot of pub.
But Ozzie was right.
And quite frankly, I wish more people would call out Marriotti. God I hate him.
A big sarcastic thanks to Puck Daddy for contributing to this article that is comparing the limo pictures to an incident involving Theo Flurry taking a young Tyler Arnason to a strip club. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
The past few days have put me at Defcon 5 on the annoyance level.
"Another successful interaction with a man!" - Liz Lemon
Can't call out Mariotti.
He’ll just go on “Around The Horn” and claim that he has his reasons for not responding or going into your locker room. I really wish him and Skip Bayless would get on a raft and head out to sea forever.
Welcome to the Glibert Arenas Gun Show.
by AirTrafficAJ on Jan 28, 2010 4:17 PM CST up reply actions
When you want to know about a woman, ask the old men. They know.
Just an old timers perspective
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1ZJiBHh-Yw
"Say Man, I saw your wife the other day... she sure is uuuugggggly"
“yeah but she sure can cook!”
I’d feel a lot worse about sexism if it wasn’t so funny sometimes…
by Matthew Dirt on Jan 28, 2010 2:37 PM CST up reply actions
I'll bet 20 cents that Mad Dog ended up with Stifler's mom that night.
On a side note, I’m otw back from the Philippines finally. In Tokyo at the moment. I’ll be back in the Chi tomorrow morning. Can’t wait to rejoin you crazy bastards and watch some hockey again. Sucks I have to miss the Sharks game as most of our recent matchups have been barnburners. Have a few extra beers for me and enjoy the game tonight peoples!
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
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