Gentlemen! I have invented...this thing!
Otherwise known as:
Coach Q's Deterministic Chaos Creator
(sorry, I couldn't paste the whole thing here... SBN wouldn't let me)
As Sam posted in his... um, post... today:
Coach Q has tried Kris Versteeg at center at least four or five times over the past two seasons. Most of these experiments have lasted a period or two at most. Why are we doing this again? And why are we pairing him with Kane, who needs the puck? What use will Kane be when he was to watch Steeger over stickhandle and put everyone offisides? What. The. Fuck?
In conclusion, the implication clearly was that Q had invented something, namely the aforementioned... thing. This is my attempt to clone it.
Instructions for use:
- Click the button
- Repeat
If anyone feels a need to add any of the following (or something else), give a shout below and either I do something if I'm not feeling lazy, or somebody else can shamelessly copy it. It's pretty much open source.
- D men pairings
- Forcing centers to center
- No-scratch list
- Days of Our Offense writer robot
* Special thanks to ChicagoNativeSon for suggesting that "We need an online random line generator" and BigCSouthside... just because.
52 comments
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13 recs |
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Comments
re-posting my lines of GLORY from the original thread
Hossa – Madden – Burish
Byfuglien – Bolland – Fraser
Sharp – Eager – Ladd
Versteeg – Brouwer – Kopecky
Scratches:
Kane
Toews
That would
light a fire under those guys asses for sure.
2009 SCH Post Whore
2010 Troll Collector
SCH's Resident Mom
The sun never sets on a badass
My version at work was much more primitive,
scraps of paper with names on them stuffed in a beer coozie, thing that sucks is I could have made a wicked rad one with the tools I have at the office, but the meeting with my boss “Hey, what the fuck is this…thing we found on your computer” would have likely resulted in me being fired
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
I actually have access to SQL Reporting Server, which would be fun to see what I could do with it (kind of an unusual use for it)
We use it to make performance management and predictive analytics reports that are web based (basically take all the numbers and names and turn them in to pretty little reporting tools so our genius management dosnt have to do hard stuff…like math). For a microsoft program its really nice. Unfortunately I may have had a slight problem getting you guys access to it since my office firewall is about 5 miles thick, and if you even use google improperly I think that a machine gun pops out of the ceiling and eliminates you. could do something cool with it like use the plus minus rating to give a grade of the strength of each line generated etc, or just get it to auto comment “what the fucking shit!” whenever a triple center line comes up
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
by BigCSouthside on Mar 29, 2010 11:48 PM CDT up reply actions
That sounds like it'd be useful
for all that stuff the stat gurus dig up here… it’d look really sick if you could pull that off. I was thinking you might’ve been referring to something like SharePoint which could probably cook something like this pretty quick.
I totally hear you on the firewall though, mine blocks a ton of websites, including the occasional one that would actually be useful for my work! Then of course they had to figure out my workaround to improper Google usage by blocking every single “Cached” link from Google.
I guess the reason I asked is because I’m working on some interesting software stuff in my spare time, some of which may be related and/or make stuff like this as easy as writing a blog comment. It’s probably a long shot, but this kind of info is always useful.
share point def could do it
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
by BigCSouthside on Mar 30, 2010 12:37 AM CDT up reply actions
we use it primarily as
a “base of operations” for project management, it can handle a lot of data and is good for centrally locating information and calling it up easily
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
by BigCSouthside on Mar 30, 2010 12:59 AM CDT up reply actions
I fuggin hate sharepoint
we use it way to much here, and they have the access rights locked down for most people so that no one accidentally deletes things they shouldn’t and that type of thing. result, I get about 20 requests a week to delete silly ass shit people created and can’t delete themselves. Best part is I’m not the admin, I just happen to be one of the unlucky bastards who has more permissions than most. Then add in that everyone here likes to customize everything and be a unique little snowflake. Well sharepoint and custom do not play nice together. Ugh.
SQL server with an ASP front end report though could do nicely with this just like you were thinking BigC.
by runningquicklynowhere on Mar 30, 2010 2:36 PM CDT up reply actions
By the way
had to rec this bad boy
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
by BigCSouthside on Mar 29, 2010 11:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Of course you would - your name was mentioned
and likewise, the same reason I’m rec’ing it too!
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 12:27 AM CDT up reply actions
Wow look at that first line - hope this doesn't happen in a real game
Kopecky – Burish – Kane
Fraser – Eager – Sharp
Versteeg – Hossa – Toews
Ladd – Madden – Bolland
Scratches:
Brouwer
Byfuglien
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
That was the same line BigC got
I commented “Poor, poor Kaner”
Hmmm, maybe this generator is telling us something? BLou, get Stan on the phone!
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 12:25 AM CDT up reply actions
Wait a minute.
I think I’ve actually seen these lines on the ice before:
Kane – Byfuglien – Toews
Versteeg – Burish – Sharp
Kopecky – Eager – Brouwer
Bolland – Ladd – Hossa
Scratches:
Fraser
Madden
HA
Kopecky-Buff-Fraser………that hurts to think about
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
Just admit it
you broke into Q’s office & stole this didn’t you?
I wonder what the over/under is for this thing to come up with tomorrow’s actual lines?
haha next step:
Compare to those TOI/shift charts and figure out if any of these actually showed up… I think I’ll have to defer to somebody else’s expertise on that one, unless I feel like doing real work at home.
I gave it another shot and here's what I got
Eager – Kopecky – Kane
Byfuglien – Brouwer – Ladd
Burish – Sharp – Hossa
Fraser – Versteeg – Bolland
Scratches:
Madden
Toews
I’m gonna call this 1st line “KANE SKATES ALONE”.
True centers for the top 3 lines? We don’t need no stinkin’ centers. And of course, Versteeg will center my 4th line.
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 8:18 AM CDT reply actions
Not horrible Not great either
Brouwer – Byfuglien – Eager
Hossa – Kopecky – Madden
Versteeg – Ladd – Sharp
Toews – Burish – Kane
Scratches:
Bolland
Fraser
Actually do not mind the any of the lines here, makes me laugh at the idea of Burish with Kane and Toews. But, putting your ::cough:: ::cough:: enforcer with them could almost make sense. But, not much. I like the Slovak connection on the second line, with Madden centering, but the first line is definately the big ugly line
"I'd drink more." - Bobby Hull
by happyhossapanda on Mar 30, 2010 8:24 AM CDT reply actions
Brilliant!!!
"...about six feet from the moose's butt."
by The Fearless Freep on Mar 30, 2010 8:38 AM CDT reply actions
When I suggested someone make this
I didn’t think anyone would – especially in 5 minutes!
Never underestimate the power of motivated procrastination!
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 9:13 AM CDT up reply actions
Slovakians Gets Rest
Byfuglien – Sharp – Fraser
Burish – Toews – Brouwer
Kane – Bolland – Ladd
Eager – Madden – Versteeg
Scratches:
Hossa
Kopecky
I’d switch Burish for Sharp so that there was only one useless line.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.
Best 4th line EVER! (at least the Slovak was on an Olympic team)
Fraser – Kane – Versteeg
Burish – Bolland – Hossa
Ladd – Byfuglien – Eager
Kopecky – Sharp – Toews
Scratches:
Brouwer
Madden
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
I can't wait until we have a D-line generator
so I can get the result: “Scratches: Johnsson”
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 9:12 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
but
sometimes in the current generator, we do get:
Scratches:
Eager
Ladd
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
by chiblackhawks on Mar 30, 2010 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions
Apparently
I am the wind beneath your wings
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 6:20 PM CDT up reply actions
Wait a minute!
You were complaining that i got credit from Trixie when you got credit from Verstig?? And for not doing something? LOL
I know there’s some phrase about a black kettle that would be appropriate here…
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions
There was a reason for including him
I just don’t remember it…
To get back to the topic though… I’m going to need some kind of list of beers to fit my scale of WTFness of the lines the thing spits out. I’ll figure out a way to score the lines but I need an expert to give me a list (in order)!
"I just don’t remember it…"
I made the suggestion, BigC said he would put something together, and you did the work, then BigC shared the credit.
I just realized that BigC is in management.
:P
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 6:23 PM CDT up reply actions
It was a Union job
TAKE OFF THOSE CLOWN SHOES OR I WILL SHOOT THIS DOG!
by BigCSouthside on Mar 30, 2010 6:24 PM CDT up reply actions
THIS
Is a thing of brilliance.
How can we not win with these lines?
Eager – Kopecky – Bolland
Sharp – Burish – Kane
Fraser – Ladd – Brouwer
Byfuglien – Madden – Versteeg
Scratches:
Hossa
Toews
CREEPY
I read your post and went to spin the Q-stache one more time right after. Got the same two scratches, and with Versteeg as 4th line center no-less.
Byfuglien – Fraser – Kane
Ladd – Burish – Kopecky
Madden – Bolland – Sharp
Eager – Versteeg – Brouwer
Scratches:
Hossa
Toews
by puppetmasterp on Mar 30, 2010 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions
did you hit the bizzarro world button by mistake?
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
kinda intrigued by 2 of these lines
Fraser – Eager – Versteeg
Ladd – Kopecky – Kane
Hossa – Burish – Toews
Byfuglien – Sharp – Bolland
Scratches:
Brouwer
Madden
not saying which ones though
D-men added
Buff was a huge pain, I had to make my head hurt to include him.
As a bonus I included a checkbox for all you Eager Johnssons… enjoy!
I got
Scratches Eager Mad(den) Johnsson after about 10 spins
Well, folks, I want to thank you for being here for the recording of my live comedy album. Funny material and laughter will be dubbed in later.
by ChicagoNativeSon on Mar 30, 2010 6:53 PM CDT up reply actions
this actually looks promising
FORWARDS:
Brouwer – Toews – Eager
Burish – Kane – Bolland
Versteeg – Ladd – Madden
Sharp – Kopecky – Hossa
DEFENSEMEN:
Boynton – Keith
Hjalmarsson – Hendry
Byfuglien – Seabrook
Scratches: Fraser Sopel
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
by chiblackhawks on Mar 30, 2010 6:54 PM CDT up reply actions
my first spin with the updated Q-stache...
Hey, that 3rd line looks a bit familiar…
FORWARDS:
Toews – Kopecky – Fraser
Ladd – Eager – Hossa
Kane – Versteeg – Byfuglien
Sharp – Brouwer – Bolland
DEFENSEMEN:
Hjalmarsson – Boynton
Hendry – Sopel
Keith – Seabrook
Scratches: Burish Madden
1st Spin of the Update
Scary, I know I’ve seen a couple of these combinations.
FORWARDS:
Burish – Fraser – Bolland
Kopecky – Brouwer – Versteeg
Byfuglien – Toews – Kane
Sharp – Madden – Hossa
DEFENSEMEN:
Boynton – Hjalmarsson
Sopel – Seabrook
Keith – Hendry
Scratches: Eager Ladd
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
not bad
swapping ladd for kindergarten kop and those lines == DD cup
kidding. kinda.
Holy chocolate covered mammary glands, Batman!
Um, that's not chocolate, Boy Wonder
by JohnnyBourbon on Mar 31, 2010 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions
LOL look at this combo
FORWARDS:
Toews – Bolland – Byfuglien
Sharp – Versteeg – Burish
Ladd – Hossa – Fraser
Madden – Brouwer – Kane
It's THE GOAALLLIEEE!!!!!
i like
i vote having a “scratch the dudes who scored 75% of the goals against the mild” option
Holy chocolate covered mammary glands, Batman!
Um, that's not chocolate, Boy Wonder
by JohnnyBourbon on Apr 1, 2010 3:02 PM CDT up reply actions

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