UPDATED: I'm On A Horse, Backwards, or: Why You Shouldn't Expect Me to Use Statistics to Talk About Hockey

Okee, dokee. This one is soooo not about hockey, yet somehow it is. There's also not really much point to this post either, yet it's a bit of fun. I figured it's a long week and we needed some light reading with more pictures (Battery and TMFF, you guys should love this!) compared to the brain popping stuff that Verstig and gmh have been putting up. I am so the opposite end of the rainbow of those two - Look unicorns!

First off, if you're somehow not familiar with the recent Old Spice commercials, this will make no sense to you, so here are a couple of primers:


Also, if you've been hangin' out with Johnsson (or some other arrangement of that phrase) and are not aware, "Palomino" is our unofficial "safety word" here at SCH for comments that give TMI (too much information) or photos that go beyond the limits of good taste. And "bay" is also a breed of horse.


So where is all this leading to? What is the possible inspiration for this post? Why do I have the urge to slather my body in antiperspirant and take my yacht out on Lake Michigan? Well it all started with Puck Daddy, who possibly has been reading Trixietrx's "Days of Our Defense" soap opera posts. This led to a humorous string of comments on SCH Monday night, ending in what I consider one of the funniest hanging curve balls and subsequent home runs by cliffkoroll and meeshak respectively (I'm sure it was accidentally funny and meeshak was actually just pointing out the obvious). So here goes nothing...


From Puck Daddy on Monday evening:

Game 6 of this series is tonight in Nashville. Should Keith be escorted to the penalty box this evening, we anticipate he'll start screaming something about being "in a glass box of emotion" as Nashville fans read aloud from his salary figures on Cap Geek ... until Brent Seabrook smashes the door with his stick, scoops up Keith and carries him away "Officer and a Gentleman" style. Love lift us up, indeed.


Later that same evening on SCH:

I love the Officer and a Gentleman comment on Puck Daddy too - do you think he reads "Days of our Defense"?

by chevrier30 on Apr 26, 2010 5:28 PM CDT

Seabs could rock the shit out of a white horse
if Duncs needed him to.

by shinkicker on Apr 26, 2010 5:44 PM CDT

oh no
I just got a really bad visual of Seabs, shirtless and with hair blowing in the wind, reaching down and carrying his little d-partner out of harm's way.

by K_Dog Apr 26, 2010 5:55 PM CDT

why oh no?
you can be Trixie's illustrator.

by ahnfire on Apr 26, 2010 5:56 PM CDT

that sounds brilliant
to the photoshop machine!

by shinkicker on Apr 26, 2010 6:08 PM CDT

he so would be the type to say
"I'm on a horse."

by chiblackhawks on Apr 26, 2010 6:56 PM CDT


by ChicagoNativeSon on Apr 26, 2010 8:08 PM CDT

quick, don't your photoshopping skills fail me now

by chiblackhawks on Apr 26, 2010 11:48 PM CDT

Best I could do on short notice

"I'm next to a horse"

by ChicagoNativeSon on Apr 27, 2010 8:53 AM CDT

pretty sure...
that's a palomino.

by cliffkoroll on Apr 27, 2010 9:05 AM CDT

it's more of a bay

by meeshak on Apr 27, 2010 9:45 AM CDT


Ok, well to make up for that crime against humanity all creatures great and small, here is the actual finished product and a bit of "Photoshop for Dummies" along the way.

First, you find the appropriate main photos:


Next, you place the two photos in Verstig's "Random Photoshop Image Generator." It will give you three choices: "Place Keith up on his high horse," "Place Keith behind horse" or "Katherine the Great." Please choose "Place Keith up on his high horse" and press the "Merge" button. Boom! You have step one of the process completed:


Now place that photo back into the Random Photoshop Image Generator. A dialogue box like the one below will appear:


Choose "Brent Seabrook" and "Add additional homoerotic elements." In the subsection, select the "Muscle Beach Party / Beach Blanket Bingo" theme and of course you want to add a rainbow and unicorn. Click "Randomize" and out pops this:


Finally, add your title and hit the "Publish" button. A pop-up dialogue box will appear asking "Are you Sure?" Click "Yes." Next a box will appear asking "Are you really, really sure? People will see this." Click "I'm willing to take that chance." Finally, it will ask, "Did you know you're an ass?" Click "So I've been told," wait a few seconds, and out comes your finished product:

So easy, a caveman could do it.

Trixie, I expect that you do something with this!!!

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