OK. I think the immortal line from Cool Hand Luke sums it perfectly.

"What we have here," Vancouver journalists, "is a failure to communicate." If you've dropped that reference like Luongo drops rebounds, I highly recommend that you see this excellent piece of American cinema. I know that movie circulation runs  30 years or so behind north of the border. Perhaps all that is needed here is a little clarification.

In all fairness Drinky McGoo has cleaned himself up a little bit. At this point last year he was drinking 7 cases of Molson a night and watching Beaches. In despair, O'Brien could only find consolation in Bette Midler and beer. Of course, the downward spiral his life had taken didn't only effect him, it impacted all of his neighbors in his shady apartment complex. Have you ever gotten drunk on Molson? Worst beer farts in the world: that smell is pungent and it spreads. 

But then Brad Goodman, selfhelp extraordinaire, gave Drinky McGoo a new lease on life and a can of fortified wine. He's now down to one drink a day from over 50. Perhaps Dinky is, in fact, a better name for him now. He's no longer a stinking drunk, he just still makes poor decisions: like trying to cover Marian Hossa without a stick.

For Alexandre Burrows, maybe embarassment isn't the right term. Were talking about a guy who scored 35 goals here. Plus, on top of that, he's just an all around good hockey player. I mean, pulling someone's hair during a fight like 12 year old valley girl isn't an "embarassment", its a legitimate strategy: especially if you are about to get absolutely waxed in a fist fight. Picking fights with players that incur minimal penalty minutes, totally warranted. Punching people in the back of the head to "protect" one of your players against a lightweight like Dave Bolland? Its cowardly, but certainly not an embarassment. Perhaps we do need to reconsider how we label Burrows around here. A few suggestions:

Bottom Feeder

Bridge Troll

Sack of Goat Slime

Waste of a Human Life

Hate Magnet

I think that any of these would probably be more fitting for Burrows than "embarassment'

I had something written down about Luongo but i dropped it on the floor and now I can't seem to find it....

As for the vaginas. Sorry to disappoint McIntyre, but you're going to have to pay for own pornography subscription. (Doesn't one come with your social benefits plan in Canada?)