Marian Hossa's Message to the Haterz/How to Curse in Slovak Lesson (NSFW)

A little something to take the mind off of caps/QOs/Offseason/Your mortgage/children/responsibilities.  I was bored, Seriem na vás for judging me.

To be read in your best Slovak accent

 Vážení idioti ktoré hovoria, že som prekliaty (dear assholes who say I am cursed),

On June 9, I win Stanley Cup with awesome team Chicago Blackhawks.  Lots of people say "Hossa is cursed, he no win cup ever".  Well I win cup, so you can "suck on dick" (I hear Burish say this many times to ladies, we say vyfajčiť péro).  You all ask me "Marian, how you feel about curse"  and I say "I am no cursed, you guys are very stupid, I show you in playoff", but you no believe.  I have cup now, and it is very pretty, I will take to Slovakia, put on shiny gray suit and cool white shoes, and get many, how you say, vagíny (pussies) because I win cup, and you, tuku reportér  (fat reporter) from Detroit or ESPN will not, and I will laugh.  HA HA (Kaner says Slovak girls are "bangin", I dont know what this mean, but sounds good).  Áno, mnohí túžia buchty pre mňa, nikto za vás! (Yes, many eager ladies for me, none for you!)  I drink many piva (beers) from Stanley Cup, then fena pohlavak (bitch slap) Tomas Kopecky (I don’t know why he does this to Niemi, so I do it back, Kopecky is bitch, he should know this by now)

I no win in Pittsburgh because I no like penguins.  They are stupid birds that cannot fly.  what kind of bird no fly?  Stupid birds, thats what kind.  Also I think Sidney Crosby is asshole (does he wear lipstick, like kríž prádelník (cross dresser)?).

I no win in Detroit, because I know Detroit is where assholes live, and I dont like assholes, they are bad, and stinky (like detroit).  Detroit smell like jock strap after long game and 2 OTs.  Very bad, I hate Detroit.  Sústa (fuck) Bertuzzi.

I win in Chicago because Chicago is awesome city, and Blackhawks are very awesome team.  So I make video for you hajzlu (fuckers) who no believe I ever win cup (you make very stupid videos about me not winning, it hurt me very much)

Seriem na vás (Fuck You),

-Marian Hossa, Najväčší hokejista (Greatest Hockey Player)

Now here is video:

 (via cschalz)

I hope you like video very much

I go and party at the Disco now with Stanley Cup and many ladies.

ja som Marian Hossa a nie ste, HA HA (I am Marian Hossa and you are not, HA HA).

I got a feeling this one wont be an editors pick

HLASOVANIE!!!! (POLL!!!)

Slovak, Hawkynite! style