June 4th - Beard Of The Day - Aragorn
by McClure on Jun 4, 2010 8:19 AM CDT
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Despite being 87 years old and haggard as all hell from protecting some midgets from every type of ugly-ass bad guy a giant flaming red vagina between the spires of the Sears Tower can throw at them as they try to toss something they found in a Cracker Jack box into a volcano, Aragorn still manages to rock a pretty mean beard through all 11 hours of the Lord Of The Rings movies (or 14 hours plus bonus features if you're a complete dorkus malorkus like myself).
For much of the early part of his life, Aragorn kept a low profile as a ranger in the far western outposts of Middle-earth, biding his time to assume a throne that was his birthright. His resourcefulness in the wild, as well as his unimpeachable character, leadership ability, and swordsmanship would all certainly prove instrumental in his quest to prevent evil from overtaking the kingdom of men and to recapture its crown. And we choose him today because attributes and actions such as this are needed from the leadership of the Hawks at this a critical juncture in their quest, particularly when fending off the advancing hordes from the wastelands of the East.
Stand, Men Of The West!
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Let the nerdfest commence
Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Wirtz, of Bowman, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered sticks, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!*
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
by stacie7 on Jun 4, 2010 8:35 AM CDT reply actions 12 recs
Nerd goosebumps!
Well done!
Watch it with the jinxing!
Time for some thrillin' heroics!
by shinkicker on Jun 4, 2010 9:30 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
For Tallon!!!!!!
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 9:57 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
perfect
totally spot on. Let’s do this!
I almost forgot I can't afford the bleach that turns collars from blue to white...but I never liked the collar white anyways.
this made my day
because I am a complete dork (yes, I have watched all fo the bonus material)
now let the men of all those feathers make my night.
see y’all at the Bottom.
Bravo!
Just remember one thing at BL tonight: No Dwarf Tossing!
teaching respect for the Indian, one Red Wing fan at a time.
is this
What Kane says to Big Buff before being thrown towards the net?
by runningquicklynowhere on Jun 4, 2010 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions
or do so at your peril
the dwarves may fight back. they are a hearty, steadfast people.
by puppetmasterp on Jun 4, 2010 9:49 AM CDT up reply actions
It's led some people to believe that there *are* no dwarf women
…and that dwarves merely Spring up from the ground!
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions
and mine was the line direectly after :)
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Gimli was the best character in that entire series
aside from strider of course. I mean books and movies-wise
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions
disagree completely
Strider was totally badass. But Gimli was the perfect comic character.
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 3:35 PM CDT up reply actions
This is a great series
I’ve enjoyed every installment. But what do you mean wastelands of the East? How dare you besmirch our…
::looks at New Jersey::
::hangs head::
Oh.
by Aphilfan on Jun 4, 2010 8:51 AM CDT reply actions 3 recs
I lived in Reading for four years
I think I’m allowed to call that a wasteland.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
Or in the event you overindulged in Cheesesteaks
vast waistlands.
teaching respect for the Indian, one Red Wing fan at a time.
Throw the ring in the fire!
NO, not my precious!
LUigi was found dead at the scene, murdered by a Chelsea Dagger.
i just ripped on LOTR so hard i just made this nerd puke
…where are the mop and bucket so i can have alias clean it up
HAWKS! ... that is all
I love LOTR and Star Wars so...
That Clerks II Star Wars vs. LOTR argument was one of the funniest things ever.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 1:34 PM CDT up reply actions
That scene is the first thing I thought of
when I saw today’s BOTD. My favorite parts are “Even the fuckin’ trees walked in those movies” line and the whole Sam and Frodo puke inducing lines.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Clerks II Star Wars vs LOTR
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
This scene also explains
why no Hawks should be cast as Hobbits
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Do we really want to cast them as Star Wars characters instead?
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not sure
my suggestion for 1st line would be;
Toews – Han Solo
Kane – Luke Skywalker
Buff – Chewbacca
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
You mean you didn't already?
The eye of Sauron would make Georgia O’Keef blush
Watch it with the jinxing!
Time for some thrillin' heroics!
by shinkicker on Jun 4, 2010 10:01 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
unfortunately
i was way too incredibly slow on that one. i’m ashamed.
by puppetmasterp on Jun 4, 2010 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions
OMG I'm slower than you
I didn’t get it until this thread. I must go to the box and feel shame.
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
I'd post a picture if the Eye of Sauron
but I can’t stop laughing.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
One of my exes already has that title
Maybe I can call her “Sauron” from now on?
Occam's Razor keeps the cutting clean.
by russellguldin on Jun 4, 2010 1:05 PM CDT up reply actions
I wish I would have thought of using that
for my Ex while we were going through some custody issues.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women!
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
I think some of the Flyers were used as filler in LOTR
Just look at some of those goons.
The model for the Orcs
was dickcheese himself. Didn’t you notice they’re all kind of gap-toothed?
teaching respect for the Indian, one Red Wing fan at a time.
Isn't it incongruous for such fanatical sports fans
to also be fanatical Tolkien fans? (I’ve read the Hobbit and the trilogy countless times.)
Is it fair to say that I’m a fan of the story and not necessarily a fan of Tolkien’s writing?
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
You mean Tom Bombadil
Isn’t your favorite part of the Fellowship of the Ring?
Watch it with the jinxing!
Time for some thrillin' heroics!
by shinkicker on Jun 4, 2010 10:40 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
meh
that was one of the best editing decisions, if not THE best, that Peter Jackson made for the movies.
by puppetmasterp on Jun 4, 2010 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions
I will agree
He had nothing to do with the rest of the story but I thought he was cool because he was almost god-like with his power.
I hated him
It took me two weeks to get through the first half of Fellowship, and then two weeks to finish the rest of the trilogy.
Watch it with the jinxing!
Time for some thrillin' heroics!
by shinkicker on Jun 4, 2010 12:29 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Not really . . .
It’s a Quest story (though not just that, by any means), and we tend to view sports through the same lens. Especially once the media get hold of it.
And then there’s the sense of fair play; the banding together of a crew of disparate peoples; the uniting against an enemy . . . sounds like sports myths to me.
The only thing missing from LOTR is the sports trope: “He’s the kinda guy who/They’re the kinda team that.” Which is a drinking game (of the “Hi Bob” sort) in my living room.
That reminds me.
Does anyone have a list of the “drink” requirements for watching the game?
I have a few Edzo-isms that I obey: “forwards have the D, D have the forwards”; “quick little wrister”; etc. And of course you must drink whenever Kops loses his hat. But I seem to recall a compendium of some sorts and I’ll actually be watching with a large group tonight so I want to have something more formal.
teaching respect for the Indian, one Red Wing fan at a time.
Not for me
My teen years were in the mid to late 70s. Tolkien and other Fantasy writers had a heavy influence in a lot of the music I listened. Most notably Led Zeppelin (a.k.a. as greatest band ever)
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Same here age-wise
but I didn’t get into Tolkien until college. I was too busy beating up nerds before then to read anything for pleasure. (btw, Pink Floyd = best band ever.)
Fuck yeah.
Beautifully written entry.
Aragorn is clearly one of the biggest badasses in all middle earth. Plus, Led Zep dug this shit, so it’s ok to be a dorkus malorkus.
Rock Over London
Rock on Chicago
Diet Pepsi
Uh-Huh!
by Campbell32 on Jun 4, 2010 10:23 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
Correction
Aragorn is clearly one of the biggest badasses in all middle earth ever.
by Katherine215 on Jun 4, 2010 10:30 AM CDT up reply actions
'Ramble On'
is a testament to love of it. ‘Battle of Evermore’ too, I believe.
"What the hell, let's review it." - Dale Tallon
"They are!" - Pat Foley
"What a farce." - Dale Tallon
The Battle of Evermore is for all intents and purposes a retelling of the events of The Battle On The Pelennor Fields from Return Of The King
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn shame.
For any of you bored nerds out there (like me),
Here’s a link to other people’s thoughts on Battle of Evermore. There’s some good and some bad but whoever has read or even watched the Trilogy will make sense of the song.
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/7767/
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Love it
Stuff like this is why I love this site. Reminder to all: our Men of the West have answered each battle lost in this postseason war with a battle won, and convincingly each time. Is it game time yet?
"Eighty-five percent of the fuckin' world's working. The other fifteen come out here." - Lee Elia
by TenMinuteMisconduct on Jun 4, 2010 10:53 AM CDT reply actions
Exactly
And I thought the Hawks were playing like a team on a long win streak: eking out wins and playing too close to the vest at times. Philadelphia, ESPN and the general sports media all seem to think the Flyers have us “right where they want us,” but I expect the Hawks to hurt them on their own turf tonight. My prediction: This is the first game of the series not decided by one goal.
Duncan Keith = 2010 Norris Trophy Winner
If the Hawks win, I don't care what the margin is (or how long the game takes)
It isn’t a bad hunch that one or the other is going to get their shit fully together for a game though
Confusion will be my epitaph.
aragorn is the only person more badass than niemi
Self-Proclaimed President of the Castro Boobird Face Kicking Club
The Chicago Blackhawks: The only Chicago team worth caring about.
And he's Danish,
which is pretty damn close to Finland.
teaching respect for the Indian, one Red Wing fan at a time.
Is it dorky that
after reading this im going to go play some Dungeons and Dragons to kill time before the game?
!
Merlin's beard.
Picture bloodbaths and elevator shafts
Like these murderous rhymes tight from genuine craft
or Gandalf's
as long as we’re dorking out here.
I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the Windy City fall, nor our team fail.
King Serious!
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 1:30 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Now I want to see
Dunc, Seabs, Buff, and Hossa as Hobbits
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
NERD ALERT!
Ok, Stacie7 if you want it that way i think we have to at least have Hossa be an elf, Buff, Madden, or maybe even Sopel is the troll, Dunc ‘n’ Seabs are Pip & Merry, and Toews & Kane are Frodo & Sam Wise. what do you think?
WAIT a minute!!!
HOW is Hossa not Gandalf?
by puppetmasterp on Jun 4, 2010 1:39 PM CDT up reply actions
I see Hossa as
Legolas. Because Hossa has his “I’m Marian Hossa and you’re not” moments and destroy everything he needs to.
i know i saw it further down
could choice, especially with Biscuit being Arwen. very nice high five!
me too
i just gave myself a wedgie and stole my own lunch money after reading my Blackhawk-LOTR casting couch choices.
by Hawkynite! on Jun 4, 2010 1:53 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
I really hope CNS, VerStig, or one of our wonderful photoshoppers are working on this
This is no time for work people. Bring on the pictures!
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Is CNS around?
Can’t do this at work and actually might have to miss the first period. I can send him some ‘shoppable candidates if he’s around/interested.
I don't recall seeing him today
How dare you have to work on a Friday game day (says the girl sitting at home working).
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
i agree with this
beautiful-looking but sometimes-quite companion who can be bad-ass in his own right, and has pin-point long range sight and accuracy.
by puppetmasterp on Jun 4, 2010 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm thinking Q is Elrond...
Since he’s not actually part of the Fellowship, but more the mastermind behind it all.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 2:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Someone mentioned
Niemi because of the whole “You shall not pass!” thing. Also kind of fits because of the transformation from Ganfdalf the Grey to Gandalf the White (Niemi in reg. season vs. Niemi in postseason)
What about
Boromir, Faramir, and Gimli?
Maybe Sopel as Gimli? And Soupy and Hjammer as Boromir and Faramir?
I am enjoying all of these casting comments
How about Sopel as Gollum?
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
I was thinking
Madden, seeing as he’s had the Precious in his possession a few times, and now he’s trying to get it back possibly for the last time?
Ok, because I'm anal, here's a recap so far
It seems to be a consensus that, should LotR be recast:
Gandalf – Niemi
Frodo – Toews
Sam – Kane
Merry – Burish
Pippen – Eager
Aragorn – Keith
Arwen – Seabs
Legolas – Sharp
Eomer – Hossa
Gimli – Burish, Sopel
Boromir
Faramir
Elrond – Q
Theoden – I like Madden for this one
Eowyn – Kop (I know, palomino)
Gollum – I like the McGuire suggestion
Maybe Boromir and Faramir can be Versteeg and Bolland?
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
by chiblackhawks on Jun 4, 2010 2:19 PM CDT up reply actions
damn, how did we leave them out?
We have those two and Meatball Soup. Did we miss any good characters?
Awww, Meatball Soup! Yeah, who'd they be?
Don’t remember many of the characters anymore.
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
by chiblackhawks on Jun 4, 2010 2:23 PM CDT up reply actions
I think somebody already said this...
But Boromir is clearly Johnsson given that they’re both dead!
by WhatWouldBurishDo on Jun 4, 2010 2:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Hmmm
I just don’t want to jinx any of the hawks by casting them as a dead person.
And, yes, I know I’m vaguely crazy for being that superstitious
by WhatWouldBurishDo on Jun 4, 2010 2:32 PM CDT up reply actions
Huet?
He did kinda disappear near the end of the season. Although, the team didn’t send him over a waterfall.
"FACEOFF!" "Makes the pass." "FIGHT!" - 8 bit hockey
Maybe Buff can be Gimli...
Since he’s the only Hawk who even comes close to fat.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Been looking for some pictures/montages to 'shop
Bilbo and Galadriel seem to show up in a lot of them… Saruman too.
If you're casting by the characters in the movie
No Hawk player should be cast as a Hobbit.
Especially Frodo and Sam.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
I would suggest Pronger as Gollum
Just an evil bastard filled with bad intentions, with a weird obsession for his precious game puck, that the Hawks are going to send to a fiery end.
Plus he’s got the whole bad teeth, misshapen head thing working in his favor.
"Life is a long lesson in humility."
- James M. Barrie
How about Soupy for Boromir and Hammer for Faramir?
Soupy being the older brother with all the accolades who gets all the attention while Hammer goes about his job quietly with little recognition.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Hammy as a female elf?
…oh yeah, I guess it works
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions
indeed they do.
plus he kinda moves like her…
very delicately
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 3:00 PM CDT up reply actions
These are good, I guess
I just realized that Hendry looks a lot like Merry… but unless there are complaints this is a good start
You know...that really does work
I almost never see biscuit get angry. His face always looks so damn neutral and passive.
Just like Liv Tyler throughout, oh…99.9% of the 3 movies.
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 3:01 PM CDT up reply actions
this casting conversation is making me giggle
damn, shouldn’t have checked SCH at work. I was doing so well too! But I couldn’t resist the lure of my preciousssssss….
But when it was suggested to him that Toews v. Kane seems likely to become a sidebar to every future international hockey tournament, he smiled and said: "I'd like us to win something together, too."
(Tweets @ChiBlackhawks and blogs at Blackhawks Down Low.)
by chiblackhawks on Jun 4, 2010 1:56 PM CDT up reply actions
I agree with Keith as Aragorn
and Burish and Eager as Pip and Merry. But who is Smeagol? I’m also having a hard time with Q as Gandalf. I just don’t think of Q as wizardly.
McGuire has to be Gollum
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Or
cast Bettman and McGuire as Smeagol / Gollum
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene."
Or
Smeagol = Edzo & Gollum = McGuire.
That way, we have the constant back & forth between them while everyone around them wonders if they’re going insane.
No...No...Not it's business...
FILTHY LITTLE HOBBITSES!
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions
Smeeeeagolllll....
Why does it cry, Smeagol?
by northernsails on Jun 4, 2010 2:58 PM CDT up reply actions
I have to rec DetroitSucks for starting this entire casting couch thread
This entire thread is made of win. You nerds. :D
Little did I know what kind of monster I would create...
But what a precious, precious monster it is.
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 2:57 PM CDT up reply actions
hehehe...
Any of you guys remember that South Park where they were playing LOTR with the porno tape serving in place of the ring?
And they asked the other group of kids what they were doing, and the kids said “playing Harry Potter?”
Cartman’s retort to that was one of the best uses of “FAGS!” ever.
Rock Over London
Rock on Chicago
Diet Pepsi
Uh-Huh!
I loved that one
and basically then SCH plays LOTR and BSH plays Harry Potter. Our nerdfest rules!
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
- Rodney Dangerfield
I know who Hagrid is!
"Everything I know about life, I learned from my father watching the Blackhawks. It can all be summed up in 2 words, 2 simple words that ring over and over in my memory. Detroit Sucks!!! Detroit Sucks!!!"
by DetroitSucks! on Jun 4, 2010 2:53 PM CDT up reply actions
YES! AWESOME!
Perfect for the moment. Spot on, McClure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKqLvtjfCm0
tremendously tremendous
by Crease Monkey on Jun 4, 2010 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions
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