Following up on a rumour that Mr. Santa Claus Himself had recently attended a Hawks game at the UC incognito (like you're going to pick out a fat guy wearing red on the 300-Level), we discovered the following under a seat, with notes scribbled on the back of a Committed Indian.. seems like Old St. Nick was also checking out the missives that various Hawks had written to him and had scored them on the "Naughty/Nice" CORSI (much the way the Department of Player Safety works, just without the videos).
We have painstakingly matched the notes with Santa's comments.. see below for more details.
Santa Says: "Is there anything further down the 'Naughty' scale than 'Bieksa Naughty? Shit, I'll still go to the little bastard's house because he leaves a glass of Jose Cuervo and a Cheeseburger out instead of that Sherry and Mince-Pie crap"
Santa Says: "Oh Dear Lord! I think little Davey may have misspelled my name.. or got me confused with someone else.. not sure if normal rules of 'Naughty/Nice' apply here.. and last time I went to his house there appeared to be quite a lot of 'Organic Material' blocking up his chimney.. I might leave his Bone Saw in the Hawks front office.. I'm sure he'll put it to good use anyway."
Santa Says: "Aww, this one is definitely in the 'Nice' category.. I wish Big John a Happy Christmas and a new baby as well.. I'll also give him a puchbag with Westgarth's Previous Face on it so he can unwind by removing it again.. but I still want him off my Hockey Team (although maybe we could bring him to the North Pole to motivate the Elfs.. he already looks Looks Good In The Costume )
Santa Says: "Well, He's Marian Hossa and I'm Not.. so I guess he gets what he wants straight away.. although how I'm going to match this up with Tomokop's request to 'Fall over, maybe, not as much a lot?' is anyone's guess.."
Santa Says: "Boy, oh boy, does this guy ever stop being Serious? No, I guess not. I only deliver presents all over the World on one night.. Toews manages to Deliver the 'Hawks a couple of times a week.. "
Santa's Final Say: "well, I guess these Hawks are more Nice than Naughty (as much as that might annoy the Meatheads who hang on Greg Stewart's every word) and their Holiday Video was awesome (although I'd have had No 2 singing "All I Want for Christmas is my
seven Two Front Teeth") so, Happy Christmas, Felice Navidad, Happy Chanukah, Kwanz'aa and Festivus to each and every SCH person out there.. and Santa may or may not have a large metal thing all wrapped up for you.. I missed the last Postal date so you might end up getting it in, oh, say June.. don't ruin the surprise by peeking (or peaking) too soon!"