OT - Waaaay OT

So, I was without TV for 2 months, and I even went without Internet for a week at one point... I had to find something to do with all the time on my hands. The garden was already plotted out in Excel. The plants were on order from Gurneys, Park Seeds, and Burpee. I decided to write down one of the stories that I had made up for my daughter. I really like the story, and have thought of sending it to a few agents to see if it is worthy of being published. I need some people to give me some honest feedback, because my family is too close to both the story, and me to not read it while drinking the kool-aid... If you are willing to be a test subject, or if you have some kids that you can use, please e-mail me and let me know. The story was written due to the fact that my daughter and wife both complained to no end about the fact that step-mothers in stories are always evil. I decided to create a "Super Step Mother." Here is the opening, Twilla Twitbottom was like a lot of stepmoms, with one little difference. If Twilla would sneeze while holding her step-daughters hand, they would both shrink! Twilla discovered her ability one day when she was holding her step daughter Ducky’s’ hand. Twilla sneezed, suddenly Whoosh, Zoowie, Zing! Twilla and Ducky were so small that nobody could see them!