The 12 Days of the NHL Lockout

Bruce Bennett

It would be the most wonderful time of the year if it wasn't for this recurring nightmare that has become the NHL lockout. While talks are still going on today and fans are still clinging to the last shred of hope, I have lost all hope and slipped into complete insanity. So because of that insanity I have made an NHL 12 days of Christmas parody song for you all to enjoy.

On the first day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
No hope for an NHL season.

On the second day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the third day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the fourth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the fifth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the sixth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the seventh day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the eighth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Eight failing franchises,
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the ninth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Nine empty locker rooms,
Eight failing franchises,
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the tenth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Ten visits to the podium,
Nine empty locker rooms,
Eight failing franchises,
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the eleventh day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Eleven players bitching,
Ten visits to the podium,
Nine empty locker rooms,
Eight failing franchises,
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season.

On the twelfth day of the lock-out,
my commissioner gave to me
Twelve empty apologies,
Eleven players bitching,
Ten visits to the podium,
Nine empty locker rooms,
Eight failing franchises,
Seven players in Switzerland,
Six Twitter memes,
Five Stanley Cup rings,
Four fleeing owners,
Three work stoppages,
Two botched proposals,
And no hope for an NHL season!

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