Dear Second City Hockey Fans,

I go to a local gym in the mornings and the old man behind the desk is the biggest meat head Hawks fan. He hates Patrick Kane and has a raging hard on for John Scott. (He was very upset they traded him) He once told me the Hawks would be unstoppable if they had a line of Toews, Kane and Scott. Because no one would hit Toews and Kane because they wouldn't want to get their asses kicked by a guy a foot taller than him. Despite the Hawks recent successes thanks to Kane in Fuck You Mode, he still wants the team to trade him because of the simple fact he won't hit anybody. I mean if I were 170 lbs and played in a league full of guys 30 lbs heavier than me, I wouldn't be checking them either.

So what are your thoughts? Can you guys give me some solid one liners? Or should I just continue to walk away when he pauses to take a breath like I've been doing?