As a public service to our reporter friends who valiantly yet unsuccessfully persist in asking Coach Q for injury-related details, we offer this handy chart to translate Qspeak (shown here in bold) into plain English.

It’s an Upper Body Injury = he’s not playing hockey today.

It’s a Lower Body Injury = he’s not playing hockey today.

It’s an Upper and/or Lower Body Injury = It's his hand, so depending on whether he’s tying his shoe or putting on his hat, you figure it out….

He’s out with the flu = He was spotted at 3 pm in the Palace Grill wearing the same clothes he had on when he closed Benchmark 12 hours earlier.

He’s progressing = well, yeah. He’s a professional athlete in his 20’s, your grandmother with the bad hip should be so lucky.

He made the trip with us = Speaking of grandmothers, his happens to live in the city we’re playing. And it's her birthday.

We will know more tomorrow = This is technically true, but incomplete. The entire sentence should read, WE will know more tomorrow, but you will still know what you know today, which is jack.

It’s not serious = He’s still walking

We're told it’s not serious = He’s still breathing

It doesn’t appear to be serious = He’s still eating

It’s serious = He’s Kim Johnsson

He’s day-to-day = Perceiving time as a linear phenomenon is merely a false illusion upon which the entire human experience is predicated. Spiritual enlightenment leads us to the profound fundamental truth that the past, present, and future are one. Or at least that's what Phil Jackson told me.