For those who shun ver Twitter, here's the Funniest Man In Hockey (next to Scott Howson's hilarious GM impersonation) and his 140 character commentary on last nights proceedings

Columbus Blue Jackets pick Ryan Murray. He stands up, hugs his family, pull the fire alarm and sprints out of the building.

“Wow, a couple of pretty big trades. I should probably try that some time.” – The NHL trade deadline day watches the draft.

If Gary Bettman interrupted a funeral eulogy to say “We have a trade to announce”, everyone would cheer.

Leafs up next. If Penguin fans don’t chant “Pitts-burgh Mod-el” all through Burke’s pick then I don’t want to know them

So does Filip Forsberg go into the Hall of Fame in three years or do they just waive the waiting period?

Apparently Leaf fans think Reilly is a great leader, because every one of them just screamed “I need Captain Morgan, now!”

Burke passed on Mikhail Grigorenko due to rumours about his birth certificate. He’d heard he may have been born in Ontario

Filip Forsberg is falling for absolutely no good reason. So he sounds like a great fit for the Canucks.

How awesome would it be if Bettman went back to the podium right now and said “Nah, just messing with you, you booing jerks.”

“Yes, I take this man to be my lawfully wedded…” - Jordan Staal’s fiancé. “Um, we have a trade to announce.” – The priest

Ha! Nice freefall, Forsberg. What a loser! (The highlight of my 18th year was getting my parents to buy me a Sega Genesis.)

“Eight of the top ten picks are defensemen, a new record!” – TSN. “Wait, you can draft defensemen?” – The Edmonton Oilers

All those Bruins fans with “You suck, Subban” tattoos are experiencing some cognitive dissonance right now

Paul Holmgrem: “It’s a draft tradition to congratulation the GM who built the Cup winner. So, congratulations, me

This is the "Markus Naslund retirement ceremony" of pre-draft pick speeches.

Many people told Henrik Samuelsson’s dad that he'd never make it, but now they don’t have a leg to stand on. Literally

"Hey cool, you must be the son of that guy my dad scored on!” – Stefan Matteau meets Martin Brodeur at training camp.

Congratulations to all players picked. And to those who weren’t: Enjoy a sleepless night knowing CBJ is back on the clock!

The man is, frankly, a genius. And found here twice a week..