I apologize in advance for my lack of jump. I can never figure out how that thing works. I also apologize for the lack of remembering almost everyones name...I was really overwhelmed. SO MUCH NEW STUFF GOING ON.
Everyone who didn't go is a really big loser and missed the most awesome time with someone from another blog that could ever possibly happen. I think that makes sense. If it doesn't, have a few beers and read it again.
The fun part about this was the fact that A.) I had never met anyone from SCH before B.) I had never played inline hockey before C.) I had never played anything close to ice hockey D.) OK I HAD NEVER ACTUALLY SKATED WITH A STICK IN MY HAND BEFORE and E.) the man-friend and I broke up like 3 days before hand so I was pissed off already. This seems like it is going to lead to a great time right? Oh, I forgot that this was my first time using inline skates without a brake. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So we began with my trip over the river and through the woods with Spencer to get to the middle of some absolute random place to play, leaving my ex pouting in front of his apartment after telling him he absolutely could not go and have fun playing hockey and needed to find his own friends (I know, I'm mean. Oh well). Around this time I am being distracted by planes, and I hear Lance (whose name actually isn't Lance, who knew) discussing his smelly shin pads. This is when I notice EVERYONE has shins pads and gloves. Except for me. I flashback to the conversation I had the night before at Dick's sporting goods about how I should probably get some gloves and pads. At the time, my conclusion was that the ex is a moron, and this is a pickup/friendly game. Who needs pads for that? Apparently I win moron of the year award. This is also around the time that I realize everyone is wearing white or red. Thanks for letting me know ahead of time that we were suppose to wear specific colored shirts guys, really stood out like a sore thumb in bright pink top. I kid, mostly :)
Everyone starts to skate around, all is going well. I am not falling down, I haven't tripped over my stick (yet), I even skated backwards and impressed someone (New Rick, Old Rick, red fish, blue fish?). However, it has become apparent to me (and everyone else paying attention) that I can't actually hit the puck. I either miss, or it goes about 2 feet in front of me. I can already tell this is going to be a long game where I make a fool out of myself. And other people, but I will get to that. We split teams, decide pink might as well be red, I apologize a lot to the lot that ends up stuck with me, and after a lengthy discussion of posts or "flip the net down and call it something I can't remember" we pick the latter and start the game.
I'll be honest...I don't remember the start of the game. I do remember trying to get in on a play (what the hell was I thinking, seriously?) and help, which ended up with me basically hip-checking someone and falling in a big heap with sticks and limbs every which way on the ground. Everyone cheers (at least in my head they did...) because I just took out Tim. Unfortunately, Tim is on my team, so that didn't work out so well. After making sure everyone's arms and legs are attached and not broken and all balls have remained in the correct place, the game starts again. Sometime later, Poor Tim gets hit in the face by a puck. I like to think that it was Spencer's way of getting back at him for obviously jumping in and ruining the awesome play I was going to make that would allow me to score all the goals on the face of the planet forever, but I think it may have been an accident. I can always hope...
So team red loses the first game, and we switch sides and stuff. I finally realized I was seriously getting in the way of my team actually being able to do decent things, so I decided I'd stick around the net and launch myself at people if they got close. This worked out well for awhile, mostly because I think that everyone was afraid I would take them down Tim-style if I got too close to them. Eventually team white realized my epic plans, and were able to easily skate around me and score anyway. I'd love to say that I scored the game winning goal and there was much celebration, but let's be honest....this isn't Mighty Ducks, and I ain't Fulton Reed. Regardless, it was a great time, and if I didn't have to drive 5 hours in one direction I would come play every damn week. Thanks for the fun time :)
My personal highlights:
-Only falling twice
-I only spent the first 3/4's of playing time thinking "Please don't skate by me, please don't pass to me, SHIT, what do I do with this puck?"
-Spencer left his white van AND his favorite rope at home
If anyone is still interested in painting the ex's apartment pink and pasting pictures of Sidney Crosby everywhere, Spencer knows where he lives and I have extra keys somewhere....