UNTIL HOSSA CAN RETURN

i have made the comment before, and will again. when you injure a player in any sport with a cheap shot, your suspension should last as long as the other player is recovering from the hit. With a rule similar to that, most of the cheap shots I bet would go away.

I am all for hard play, solid hits, but there is no respect it seems anymore for each other.

Dear NHL Fans (and the media...even though you ignore us),

Hello! Wow, what a great time to be a hockey fan! The playoffs are upon us, and we've already seen some amazing things so far! Days worth of penalty minutes, some WWE style hits, people getting tossed from games, and oh yeah, some thrilling hockey too!

Recently, the Department of Player Safety has come under attack from the fans and the 5 members of the media that care for a lack of action, or a lack of consistency in some of our disciplinary rulings. To address this matter as the man in charge of player safety, I am publishing this video today to explain some of the intricate inner workings of how our department handles these important issues that face our sport. Hopefully, after you watch this, you will understand, I'm kind of making this up as I go along:

A Message From The Department of Player Safety (via cschalz)

Well, I sincerely hope that sheds some light onto the NHLDPS, and ENJOY THE REST OF THE SPECTACLE THAT IS THE NHL PLAYOFFS!

Yours in discipline and consistency,

Brendan Shanahan

PS. Since I probably won't have a job in this league soon, any email questions should be directed to B.Shanahan@NFL.com. Apparently they will hire anybody!. Thank you.

LATER THAT EVENING

Man, phone has been quiet. Guess the boys got the message after I suspended Shaw.

/PHONE RINGS

Yo, what up, its B-Shan the Ban Man!....what?....Hossa....stretcher you say?.....who the hell is Raffi Torres?.......I better call and let Gary know......of course he isn't watching, have you ever talked to that guy about hockey?......shit, I thought I fixed this stuff.......yeah I'll hit you back after I find out how much Gary wants to fine this Torres guy....laterz!

Here is a vid I did last year. Get well 81.

John Wiedeman is, in my opinion, the best broadcaster in Chicago right now. I was watching the game live and would love to hear his call for the Sharp game tying goal and the Bickell winner in OT. WGN Radio site is a mess to go through and there doesn't appear to be anything there. Is there any place to hear it online?

I checked youtube as well, but it only has the Pat Foley call.

EXTRA! EXTRA! SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED!!!

SCH Inline Hockey Club cordially invites you to celebrate the wedding game of:

________________________Billy Charlesbois________________________

_______________________On Sunday Afternoon_______________________

_____________________April the twenty-second_____________________

__________________________At twelve noon_________________________

If you can play in the game, RSVP by posting at the bottom of this board!!!

Come out this Sunday at noon to celebrate an extra special SCH Inline Hockey Club Event: My first game as a married man!!! My wedding is the night before, and I'd like to get in a good game before my honeymoon! Send me off in style with a great game!

GAME INFO:

Date: SUNDAY, April 22

Time: NOON!

Weather Watch: says 30% chance of rain, keep an eye here to see if the game is still going

Location: Pine Park in Hoffman Estates, off Winston Road just north of Algonquin Road (Route 62).

We're starting at noon so I have time to peel myself off the ceiling and come play!

JOIN US THIS SUNDAY IN HOFFMAN ESTATES FOR THE MOST AUTHENTIC HOCKEY EXPERIENCE HAVING NO HOCKEY EXPERIENCE CAN GET YOU!

SCH INLINE HOCKEY CLUB NEWS FAQ

What do I need to play?

Inline skates and a stick. Other equipment such as gloves are optional.

Where do you play at?

Pine park outdoor inline hockey rink off Winston Road in Hoffman Estates, just north of route 62.

What's the talent level like?

It's wide open! Anybody with a good attitude can play EVERYBODY CAN PLAY (as long as you promise not to intentionally hurt anybody)!

I missed the 18 games you played last year, can you prove this isn't a set-up to sell me a time-share?

Stop complaining! Florida is beautiful this time of year. Have you seen how close our units are to the Fort Lauderdale beaches???

SEE YOU THERE!

Hello, all. Pang Pang here again. mmD has gone out glumly to buy razors so me and the other monkeys, Ning-Nong and Boom-Boom (the ones who do all the REAL work around here) decided to sit down and work out how we think the First Round of the Playoffs is going to go.

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So, the identity of the Blackhawks' first round opponents has been revealed: the Men Of Four Feathers will be going head to head with the Dogs Of The Desert. With reports coming in that Phoenix's Geocities Page Official Website has crashed due to unprecendented traffic as Blackhawks fans in their tens seek for more information on the Coyotes (as of now it appears to redirect you to an early build of a "Quebec Nordiques" site?), we have decided to collate some handy facts about our favourite doomed franchise.

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Because my first FanPost a couple months ago was so wildly successful (one comment from mmD and one from me), I thought I would try again.

.

I have two purposes here:

1) Give everyone a summary of how the WC playoff teams have performed against each other this season, as we look ahead to the first round and beyond.

2) Look at which teams might have played up or down to their competition and therefore might have an extra edge in the playoffs. I believe I saw a few comments during the season saying that the Hawks were prone to playing down to, say, the Alberta teams.

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As a public service to our reporter friends who valiantly yet unsuccessfully persist in asking Coach Q for injury-related details, we offer this handy chart to translate Qspeak (shown here in bold) into plain English.

It’s an Upper Body Injury = he’s not playing hockey today.

It’s a Lower Body Injury = he’s not playing hockey today.

It’s an Upper and/or Lower Body Injury = It's his hand, so depending on whether he’s tying his shoe or putting on his hat, you figure it out….

He’s out with the flu = He was spotted at 3 pm in the Palace Grill wearing the same clothes he had on when he closed Benchmark 12 hours earlier.

He’s progressing = well, yeah. He’s a professional athlete in his 20’s, your grandmother with the bad hip should be so lucky.

He made the trip with us = Speaking of grandmothers, his happens to live in the city we’re playing. And it's her birthday.

We will know more tomorrow = This is technically true, but incomplete. The entire sentence should read, WE will know more tomorrow, but you will still know what you know today, which is jack.

It’s not serious = He’s still walking

We're told it’s not serious = He’s still breathing

It doesn’t appear to be serious = He’s still eating

It’s serious = He’s Kim Johnsson

He’s day-to-day = Perceiving time as a linear phenomenon is merely a false illusion upon which the entire human experience is predicated. Spiritual enlightenment leads us to the profound fundamental truth that the past, present, and future are one. Or at least that's what Phil Jackson told me.

This is the time of year when folks around the country with free time celebrate great moments with Peeps. Because every great event deserves to be immortalized with marshmallows and sculpey clay, I present to you all the moment the Chicago PeepHawks defeated the Phildelpeepa Flyers.

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You're probably thinking "we're not even done this freaking season", but let's please admit that goaltending is still an issue that needs to be addressed in the off-season. Ray Emery may be an improvement over Turco, but I would like someone a little more agile but more importantly, is patently the back-up/has little chance to potentially take over the no. 1 slot.

My guess is that this is what is damaging Crawford's consistency, that he's fretting over poor performances too much as being indelible failures because he knows he can be replaced by a guy who can almost play as many games as him. Turco was branded, from the beginning, as the weathered back-up who's there to guide and mentor. Emery was always, if memory serves right, "the other goalie" with more of a nebulous status.

Do I have it wrong? Would you re-sign Emery? Here is a link listing the goalies that are UFAs at the end of this season. Are there any guys there that would be a slam dunk for this team? I can see Bowman signing the more "vanilla" backups like Clemmensen or Auld, career journey players who don't threaten Crawford as much as Hedberg, Vokoun, or Mason. Or do we trade *cough*Giguere*cough* for our new back-up?