The Chicago Blackhawks have a lot of young players on their team, so naturally they have lots of opinions on candy. I assume if you ask Marian Hossa or Jonathan Toews about Twix, they’ll think it’s a new protein shake or something.
Over at Red Eye Chicago, they asked a whole bunch of Chicago athletes, including members of the Blackhawks, about their favorite candy. Because Halloween is around the corner and I personally feel the need to get involved in this confectionary conversation, I decided to rank each Hawk based on their candy opinions.
We should note that, luckily, all of these players have good opinions. Nobody will have to be banished from the team because they chose candy corn or Almond Joy or some other terrible candy for terrible people.
7. Brian Campbell: "I'm a sweets guy, so maybe Sweet Tarts."
This is the sign of a man who isn’t aware of the innovations made in candy over the past 15-20 years. Sweet Tarts are fine, Brian, but we’ve moved on to bigger and better things.
6. Richard Panik: "It used to be M&M's. Now I'm more dark chocolate with almonds."
Richard is growing up, which means wading from milk chocolate into the dark waters of pure cocoa. This is a totally respectable choice, but it also feels like a very adult answer for being asked what your favorite candy is.
5. Scott Darling: "Runts. Definitely Runts."
I’m going to be honest, I kind of forgot that Runts exist. They fall into this weird area where they’re not quite hard candy, but you’ll absolutely wreck your teeth if you get too excited. However, I give bonus credit to any candy that comes in fruit shapes to match its flavors because it’s basically like eating fruit, according to me.
4. Nick Schmaltz: "Ice cream Snickers. You have to try those. It's just like a Snickers and ice cream inside of it."
This could honestly be No. 1 but I’m pretty sure it’s cheating. Adding ice cream to the mix throws off the entire balance because ice cream makes everything better. Snickers ice cream bars are freaking amazing. They also require a freezer, which puts into question whether this still qualifies as a candy and not a frozen treat. Important distinction here that definitely demands more research.
3. Tyler Motte: "Probably Skittles or Starburst, Sour Patch [kids]. Fruity, not chocolate."
Alright so there’s a reason why Motte isn’t No. 1. He starts off so, so well. Skittles and Sour Patch Kids are especially good. But then he comes out at the end and just slams chocolate for no good reason. He could’ve just said “I like fruity candy” and left it at that but then you wouldn’t know that Tyler is not a fan of chocolate. I’m sorry but that disqualifies you from the top spot.
Vinnie Hinostroza: "Twix. The best was when people left the sign on the door that said just take one." (Teammate Tyler Motte added in jest: "You were the guy that took 10.")
Trevor van Riemsdyk: “Twix."
Twix are just good. I don’t know what else you want from me here. Maybe Hinostroza and TVR argue about whether the left Twix or the right Twix is better like in those commercials that have been airing for way too long.
Either way, this is the best choice here. Personally I have a tough time choosing my favorite candy because usually I’ll eat too much of my favorite then get sick of it and move on to a new one (because I am an adult). Reese’s, Sour Mamba, Hi-Chews, Sour Patch Kids, Twix, Kit-Kats, Twizzlers, Life Savers Gummis, Laffy Taffy ... I’m gonna be honest, I could do this for a while.
Now hopefully somebody asks the Blackhawks about their other food opinions soon, so I can rank those, too.