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Jonathan Toews’ Halloween costume will scare the children

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The spookiest captain in hockey, right there.

Jonathan Toews is taking Halloween very seriously this year. How do I know this? Because this photo of him and his girlfriend with their faces painted like horrifying skeleton people showed up on my Instagram feed:

Mr. and Mrs. Dead Serious. ☠️#happyhalloween

A photo posted by Jonathan Toews (@jonathantoews) on

I’m going to assume they were attending a Halloween party last night, because those costumes are way too damn scary for any other situation. They look like characters from Grim Fandango if video games from 1998 had photorealistic graphics.

If I was eight years old and someone came to their door looking like that and trying to hand me a Snickers, I’d probably reconsider. (Or I’d be like "whoa Jonathan Toews what’re you doing looking like that at this random house in the suburbs this is weird.")

Anyway, I personally would’ve preferred a David S. Pumpkins costume (ideally with Tyler Motte and Richard Panik dressed as the funky dancing skeletons), but this is Captain Serious we’re talking about.

Where does this rank among Toews’ Halloween costumes?

Toews as Wolverine
No Spain. No Gain.

Toews and Adam Burish as Dumb and Dumber
Blackhawks