I'm on Twitter. You're probably on Twitter. But you know who wasn't on Twitter until Sunday? The captain of the Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews. And then, in a glorious moment for social media history, Toews revealed that he's wading into the waters of the Twitterverse:
Better late than never eh Twitter? Got some catching up to do!— Jonathan Toews (@JonathanToews) February 21, 2016
Gotta love that Toews can't hold back his Canadianness in that first tweet, eh?
Okay, so now that Toews is a tad late getting on board, we should probably give him a few tips from our experience. Having been on Twitter for years, we need to help steer Jonathan toward Good Twitter and away from Bad Twitter, Creepy Twitter and Garfield Twitter.
Here are some objectively perfect tips:
(a) Try to make Twitter what you want it to be
(b) Don't feed the trolls
(c) No shame in using the mute button
(d) Never tweet
(e) You know what, man, nobody would blame you for just deleting the account. It'll be like it never happened! You were so close to saving your sanity!
Alas, now Toews has the same opportunities to argue about politics and Star Wars prequels as the rest of us. Although, for me, I'm hoping that this will be the start to Toews' emerging comedic career. The captain has always secretly been one of the funniest guys around the organization -- humor is the key to being a great leader, y'know -- and I'm anxiously awaiting having him drop some hilarious quips and one-liners on Twitter dot com.
Andrew Shaw is excited, too:
Omg it happened welcome @JonathanToews to Twitter and the 21st century— Andrew Shaw (@shawz15er) February 21, 2016
@shawz15er pipe down ya little puke, it's game day get focused— Jonathan Toews (@JonathanToews) February 21, 2016