All this talk about pigs making people sick seems to have totally shifted the media’s focus from what’s really scary – freaking pirates!
Who could have guessed that Obama’s first 100 days would have so heavily featured pirates as a cause of concern?
Born Edward Thatch (or Teach.. there? happy?), but better known just as Blackbeard this guy was one of the most feared pirates of all time. It’s reported that he had hemp and lit matches woven into his beard so that he would intimidate his enemies.
Before going into battle, he would tie slow-burning fuses to the ends of his beard, then light them as he approached enemy vessels. In many instances the mere sight of him standing on the deck, his legendary jet-black beard glowing and smoking satanically, was enough to terrify merchant captains into immediate surrender.
bad.ass.