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As Long As They Don’t Take My Seat

I’m sure most of you saw this today:

For those who didn’t and don’t want to bother reading it, it’s the Tribune’s guide to jumping on the Blackhawks Bandwagon. First off, I’m hugely insulted the first step isn’t buying an Indian outside the game and then coming home after the game and signing on to Second City Hockey to call the three writers there gay. I thought that would be standard by now.

I know some people are going to go apoplectic (SAT word!) at the thought of waves of newbies flooding our areas (though they already are). Let’s see if I can’t calm you down a little. This happens to every team that wins, especially in a town where the other sports teams have all their dicks tied in a knot (can’t you wait for summer, when the Sox and Cubs have night after night of combining for maybe 5 runs?). I’m sure there are plenty of bandwagon Penguins fans in Pittsburgh, and caps fans in DC. You remember the Bulls title runs. How many real Bulls fans were in the arena then? 17? It’s part and parcel of it. Just be safe in the knowledge that it means more to you, and Tyler from accounting simply will not get the joy out of it that you do. Though he may get better tickets.

Right, I’ll dump my beer on his head.