Barry Rozner Comes Out Of Cave, Sees Shadow, Means 6 More Weeks Of Total Bull----

I have to assume this came from the "I'm totally going to make something up so I can sound like a journalist for a day" pile he's got on his desk. I don't know if Rozner has actually talked to anyone or not, but the idea of James Wisniewski coming back to Chicago is laughable, except for any slight possibility of it happening makes me break out in cold sweats. As McClure pointed out when we talked about this, the only possible reason Stan Bowman would do this is to gain popularity amongst the droolers and non-ironic mustache wearers of Hawks Nation.

What purpose could he possibly serve?  With Keith and Campbell QB-ing both power play units, it can't be that.  Would he be the trigger man on the second unit?  Great, so we can watch shots get blocked or rocket off the glass in a pattern only a blood-splatter expert would love.  He's not big, so he can't clear the front of the net on the kill which Barker can (but doesn't always).

Oh, and the best part. HE'S A CHINESE FIRE DRILL IN HIS OWN END! Still is. He's been in the league a few years now, and he still makes some decisions that defy explanation. We talked with Ducks fans when they were here, and an overwhelming majority of them are at slit-wrists level of frustration with Wiz's cluelessness in his own end. Did no one watch Game 7 against Scum where he almost single handedly handed them three goals? Worse yet, his shotgun up the ice tendencies would leave Sopel completely exposed. While Catfish has been more than solid this year, that would greatly changed when his lead feet are asked to play center field. This is an asinine rumor, and if it comes to fruition I can finally hand in my verdict on Stan Bowman, and that would be "boob".

While it's no secret the Hawks would like to bolster their 3rd pairing, and Barker's high salary and lackluster play make him the leading candidate to hit the skids, this is clearly a case of Rozner adding 2 and 2 and getting 5.

While I'm on the subject, there's far too much smoke about the Hawks looking for a goalie to make me comfortable.  I don't know how people could have watched, and I mean actually watch the game and not read the statsheet, and conclude the goaltending has been the problem.  If the Hawks go off the rails in the playoffs, their recent defensive asshoolery and Doofus University on the power play would give me far more heartburn than the goalies.

And no name sets my pecker on fire, to quote Congressman David Dilbeck. Tim Thomas? 35 and paid 5 million for the next four years, and he's been stunningly mediocre this season. Dwayne Roloson? Even older, and aside from one great run in 2006, what's he done, exactly? He's never had a regular season SV% above .917 or a GAA under 2.70. Keep going.

Marty Turco? Finished. Giguere's gone to Toronto. Is there anyone left? Jaro Halak? Why would Montreal give him up when they've clearly tired of Carey Price? Cam Ward is hurt again. Even if the Hawks go and find another netminder, what's to be done with this Cristobal Huet? Stash him in the minors? Yeah, great, I'm sure people will be lining up in the summer to take him then.

I can't stand this mentality that the Hawks have to win this year or we'll never win again.  Don't get me wrong, I want a Cup this season more than I want love, success, happiness, or McClure to leave me alone forever.  But is this our only chance?  Come on.  The Hawks will ice a Top-6 next year made up of Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp, Bolland, and Brouwer AT WORST.  Their Top-4 defensemen will be Keith, Seabrook, Campbell, and almost certainly Hammer (they'll never let him go).  So tell me, how bad can that team be?

-One more thing that's grinding my gears. Why doesn't anyone question Washington's goaltending as much as ours? Jose Theodore has been middling for years now. Semyon Varlamov had a few good games in the playoffs last year, but he also had some real bad ones, and has all of 22 career games in the NHL. And the Hawks blue line corps is more solid than the Caps. But this is me getting all Second City persecuted again.

Rant over.