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Blood and Whiskey – Stars 5, Hawks 0

If you aren’t already hammered due to the day’s festivities, the Hawks certainly provided more than enough reason to drink this evening. Whether they thought that magically via the transitive property that because they porked the Sharks on Monday 6-3, and the Sharks turned around and took out their frustrations the following night on the Stars to the same score they’d just be given 2 points, they were already drunk, or just couldn’t wait to go and pound some sweet Irish Car Bombs bro, this was far and away the worst effort of the year given the circumstances. It figures that it comes against a team pronounced all but dead on this very website in the preview. This is the most reckless, irresponsible, and embarrassing loss since game 4 against Scum in the 2009 Western Conference finals. There was stupidity abound from the first period on, and despite being absent one Loui Eriksson, the Stars made the Hawks pay at every turn. Time to pass the fuck-you’s around.

Observations

  • The pinching. Oh sweet baby Jesus, always with the pinching. The first 3 Dallas goals came on odd man breaks, first a breakaway, then a 2 on 1, then a 3 on 2, none of which Corey Crawford had a chance on. Brent Seabrook, who had been playing superior hockey since finally getting the contract situation resolved, was guilty on all 3. That’s not to mention the almost-break that Alex Goligoski had during a Hawks power play. I understand the desire to get the defensemen involved in the offensive game and get low, but to take stupid chances in that way is just absurd.
  • Does anyone remember Jonathan Toews‘ name being called tonight? Me either.
  • On a similar note, who missed Bryan Bickell?
  • Think Corey Crawford’s a bit tired?
  • Steve Ott – I know he’s a huge pain in the ass and all of his extra-curricular activities get the majority of the attention, but goddamn can that guy play.
  • Even though Jake Dowell has been a non-factor since about the start of 2011, he still can’t give Brandon Seagal that fight, and for little to no reason, particularly with the Hawks bench shortened.
  • I’m not going to get too down on Marty Turco for thoroughly dicking the dog on the attempted home run pass that resulted in Jason Williams‘ goal, because the team needed to generate some offense in anyway possible at that point being down 3-0, but he’s got to find a safer angle than the one he chose.
  • While Duncan Keith assuredly deserved the stupid fuck penalty he took during the 4-minute power play, how the refs didn’t take Ott as well during the ensuing scrum for either a charge or a rough is beyond me. It probably wouldn’t have mattered, though.
  • Not even the spectators escape my wrath tonight. To the dickwad in the Toews jersey that kept standing up and waving to the camera toward the right hand goal on the TV angle (and I hope you’re a reader), do us all a favor and set yourself on fire. At the very least, improve the way all the rest of us look by never attending a game again in Hawks gear, and castrate yourself so that you may not procreate. Thank you.
  • Hey, at least the Hawks won 34 of 59 draws, with every Hawk who took one better than 50%.
  • After all this, there’s no point dwelling on tonight. Yes, the Hawks thoroughly filled their diapers tonight. But had they lost 4-3 it’d still be the same result, and the same amount of points from here on out would be necessary. The only thing left to do is let it go and go out and kick Phoenix in the nuts on Sunday.
  • Oh, and get well soon Soupy and Bolls.

Talking Points