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Free Agent Day: Hour One

10:55:  So, here’s where we’ll be until noon.  I’m going to opt with the NHL Live crew to start on NHL network, because the sight of Pierre McGuire might just ruin my summer, and after having a spring ruined by that bald douche, I really don’t have the stomach for it.  So EJ Hradek and that New York Italian Dude, here I come!

10:57:  I’d also like to point out that the fact I have to follow Darren Dreger, James Mirtle, and even Eklund on fucking Twitter makes me want to vomit with rage.  Twitter is the first sign of the damned.  And let’s take a moment to give a hand to Eklund, who last night in the span of about 25 minutes had Havlat resigned, then a Canadien, then a Shark.  Even though he wasn’t allowed to sign with those teams until after noon today, and no team would trade rights to a free agent mere hours before he can be had for nothing.  That, my friends, is performance art.

10:59:  If you’re hearing rumors about Khabby getting a two-year deal, don’t believe them.  They’re from a fake twitter account – oh, the joys of the internet.

11:01:  So it’s not the angry Ranger fan joining EJ Hradek, but Rob Simpson.  That works, as long as he’s not bald, french, and uses the word “monster”, I’ll keep breathing.

11:06  Eklund reporting the Rangers have offered Barack Obama five years at 3.4 per

11:15  USA Today reporting that Matthias Ohlund has decided to retire and sign in Tampa Bay

11:16:  From the blog at Illegalcurve.com, Roloson is headed out of Edmonton, which has been mentioned as a possible landing place for Huet.  Let me be the first to state here I’m against trading Huet and bringing back Khabby.  A) the precedent of booting your FA signings a year in is not a good one, especially when they performed well, and whether you like it or not, Huet was solid for the most part.  Secondly, Khabby is old, and had two major gaps this season due to injury.  How’s that going to get better?  Thirdly, the idea tha Khabby was stellar in the playoffs is a myth.  There was one dominant game (6 vs. Calgary), two dominant periods (the 1st in Game 1 against Calgary, and the 2nd in Game 1 vs. Scum), other than that, I’m reminded of the song “everyday people”, as that’s what Khabby was.

11:22  From Eklund’s Twitter:  “I hear the Kings are offering Chairman Mao a three year deal, but he’d like more years (e3).”  I’ll bet he would.

11:24:  Twitter is exploding with rumors of Hossa coming the Hawks – That would confirm Havlat is ending up somewhere else.. then again.. it’s twitter…

11:29  Pagnotta reporting talks with Havlat have broken down, which loosely defines to, “I know the Canadiens are going to offer me a fuckload of cash and years and booze and chicks to bang, so ante up.”

11:33  Not sure where, but there are reports of the Hawks talking to Hossa, which frankly is shocking, because where would that money come from?  I know some people are scared of Hossa and his apparent Cup curse, and think Havlat would be a better signing, but honestly, how many 40-goal seasons does Havlat have?

11:40  Apparently McGuire on TSN is reporting that Brian Burke is going to make a splash.  In other news, rain is wet.  Yet another Canadian slurping Brian Burke, who’s American.  I can’t wait til that fucker, although hilarious, goes belly up in Toronto.  Gonna laugh forever.

11:41  There’s a Hossa angle you’re all ignoring, and that would be just how fucking sweet it would be if Hossa can’t win a Cup with Scum but does with us.  Like, I need kleenex right now just thinking about it.

11:42  Dreger twits (that the verb form?) that Hossa is close to landing here.

11:45  Yeah, I’m still going to go with “twits”, because it’s funnier.  I have to say, my initial reaction to Hossa is one of excitment.  Whether you like it or not, he’s a better player than Havlat, and yes, he wasn’t anywhere to be found in the playoffs, (except for Games 4 and 5 against us) but was a monster in the playoffs before, so which is the truth?

11:47  Eklund reporting that Havlat is headed to Columbus, so by 2 pm Havlat will be headed to 23 NHL teams, the Bulls, possibly as a WR for Cutler, and into Honduras to topple the military regime.  Keep pumping those fingers, EK!!!!

11:51  Interesting idea from Lost In NC, would a Hossa signing entice JHC to stay for another year?  THey are close friends from their time in Ottawa.  But we’re getting way out over our skiis here.

11:53  Radek Dvorak resigns in Florida, proving that it can happen.  I know you’re all expecting a blood-joke here, but even I won’t do that.  Standards, meet Sam.  Sam, meet standards.

11:55  Radio station in Montreal reporting Kovalev is staying there, though that doesn’t mean Havlat is out of contention of going there, as Montreal still has plenty of room, especially if Komisarek walks, which it certainly looks like he will.  Eklund also reports that Norm and Cliff have just signed with the Stars.

11:58  Puck Daddy says if Hossa comes here it would be the greatest thing ever.  I’m starting to get more excited about it, but still think it’s extremely unlikely.

11:58  Right folks, at noon there will be another entry on the blog for hour two.  It’s only beginning.