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I Feel Like I’m Gonna Explode Here!

Okay, so with the the caption, picture, and title I’ve mixed three SImpsons references together, but what do you care?  Anyway, the lunacy of the reaction to the Niemi/Huet debate after Tuesday’s game has given me a gallstone, I think.  Today, Rosenbloom and his douchebag style of writing hop on the same train that Jay Zawaski, and of course King Moron Barry Rozner have already been aboard, not to mention any number of commenters from any number of blogs.

Let’s review: Huet’s last start was against Phoenix – the best team the Hawks have seen in the last three – where he gave up one goal on 22 shots, and the one goal his defense pretty much left him out to dry, and lost a shootout. Niemi’s last start was against the much worse Dallas Stars, where he gave up three goals on 27 shots, and his defense let him down on at two of them, and the third was an awfully juicy rebound. But he wins the shootout, so he’s a fucking hero? I know we have some new people watching the Hawks these days, so let me explain a little known nugget about hockey. There are no shootouts in the playoffs. In fact, it’s a lottery anyway. What if Neal doesn’t hit the post? What if Toews doesn’t? Basing goalie performances on shootouts is so asinine it boggles the mind. It’s beyond asinine. It’s colon-ine, or prostate-inine.

To review, Niemi was passable on his second straight start, after being bad the first time he tried it.  So what about that tells you he’s ready for prime-time?  Me?  I’d give Huet both starts this weekend to give him a chance of getting the ball rolling.  Otherwise a two week break becomes a one-start-in-three-weeks one, and that is much more likely to make one stale.  And you don’t want a stale goalie when Vancouver and Detroit roll in right after the break.  Or maybe you do, so you can complain some more.

Secondly, how could anyone watch Turco give up those first two goals on Tuesday and say, “Yeah, that’s what I want in an Indian Head?”  Isn’t that what you’re all trying to avoid here?  Soft goals?  Why are no Chicago writers blaring the Air Raid siren about the team’s eye-shattering defensive breakdowns recently?  If Keith and Seabrook continue to be Kabuki Theater in their own zone, it won’t matter of Muhammad-I’m-Hard-Bruce-Lee is between the pipes.

I love how because Huet has never won a playoff series, Niemi should lead us into them because he’s been an NHL goalie for five months now.  People, there are no answers out there.  We went through this already.  Dwayne Roloson-not an answer.  Marty Turco- not an answer. Tomas Vokoun-not an answer.  So for the love of God, please stop.

This is the last time I will write about goalies until after the Olympic Break, for fear of stroke.

Talking Points