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Morning Links (11/10)

Cbjmascots_medium

This blog is in need of some levity, and frankly, Columbus’ mascots are some low-hanging fruit. Seriously, what opiate-induced night terror inspired Stinger? The manic, “remember me, Eddie, when I killed your brother” eyes and the stabby way it’s holding the “stick” suggests the investigation of stimulant abuse in the NHL should include the Blue Jackets‘ graphic designers. Clearly what any bee needs is more stingers, preferably in the form of a spear. The Blue Jackets have been awful, but it’s possible that Nationwide is nearly empty because the kids are afraid.

And Boomer. Oh, Boomer. What are you, REALLY? A cannon that, at first glance, more closely resembles a rabid handi-capable salt shaker? And that’s keeping it safe for work. Trace Boomer’s outline and then imagine bright-eyed young Jackets’ fans having their picture taken with their arms wrapped around that thing. Again, think of the children, Columbus. Think of the children.

But the Jackets have bigger problems. Columbus got absolutely thumped by the Flyers over the weekend, 9-2, and at 2-11-1, is off to its worst start in franchise history. Jeff Carter was acquired to give Nash a playmate and save the day, but he remains in street clothes due to a foot injury. The Jackets’ other big signing, James Wisniewski, has also failed to deliver. Wiz has just one PP assist and is -5 in six games. He’s still pretty good at charades, though. In a way, Columbus has earned its fate by not addressing its greatest weakness in goal. Steve Mason continues to struggle with an ugtastic 3.70 GAA and an .869 save percentage.

The Hawks stumbled early but woke up and scored “tree in the tird period” to beat the Jackets, 5-2, a few weeks back. Incidentally (and sadly), that game was the Hawks’ last regulation victory. Tonight’s contest might be seen as a perfect tune-up opportunity before the two-game homestand and circus trip. For those who feel the darkness creeping in from the edges, prepare to exhale.

Talking Points