That's The Whelp of A Beaten Cur: Hawks 6, PMS 0


I'd always wondered why the Coyotes went from black jerseys to red. Now I know. It wasn't a color change, but just the stain from their bleeding vaginas. Christ, what a performance. Our eardrums nearly popped from all the yelping they did after VerStud laid one on prize possesion and pansy Kyle Turris, both from Gretzky and our friends at Five for Howling and Coyotes Hip Check. I'm sure it will only be worse tonight.

Didn't Jovo-Cop used to be tough? I'm sure we're going to hear it all again from the Phoenix side, but don't buy into it. Jovo-not-ski cross-checked a pretty tough customer in Matt Walker in the head. We were under the impression that Ed used to drop the gloves, and so was Walker. If he hadn't completely KO'd him with the first punch, I'm sure Jonanovski would have. He never got the chance.

So, in a totally classy way, Coach Great One (who's in a competition with Sidney Crosby to see who can win the NHL's Cry-Off) sent his boys after our goalie. Top notch stuff, really. Maybe TGO should take time out to wonder why his team didn't bother to show up at home against a team that had embarrassed them last time. You'd think the Yotes would come out with some fire and spit, but you'd have been way wrong. They lost every battle, were second to every puck, and pretty much put Huet to sleep. They keep that up, I'm sure Glendale will happily let them break their lease in a few months. This team is in the playoff picture? Not for long, by the looks of it.

Then again, I guess I'd be pretty pissed if Adam Burish was calling me bitch. A goal and two assists for the birthday boy. I don't share my colleague Matt's affection for Burish, but I don't dislike him either. He genuinely loves being a Hawk, leaves everything out there, is a great guy, and seems the type who not only would buy you beers all night, but would happily use his position to help you get laid. Problem is, I'm not sure what he does for this hockey team any more. Adams has supplanted him as the grinder, Eager as the annoying dude, Fraser as the 4th center. But for one night, it was good to have him on the ice.

There isn't much else to say about this one. It was an ass-kicking from pillar to post. Here are the shift charts and Corsi. The Corst numbers are downright hilarious, and do a wonderful job of illustrating how superior the Hawks were. What might go unnoticed is how good the Hawks were in their own zone. I can't even name one even-strength chance the Yotes had when it still mattered. Also, Sharp had another solid night on draws, going 8 for 13. This is important, as until the Hawks get another center, Sharpie will have to improve his face-offs. When the games really start to matter, these will be critical, and Captain Marvel can't take every one.

Anyway, take shelter from all the crying you'll hear from the Desert. Thank God we won't have to deal with it until next season. Unless they meet in the postseason, I suppose. Which would be pretty ace for us.

On to Colorado. Night all.