Warm Weather Contingency Plan Released

Emergency plans for warmer than expected weather in Chicago released
Monday, 12.29.2008 / 2:04 PM / Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic 2009
By Bob Loblaw - NHL.com Editor-in-Chief

CHICAGO --As Detroit automakers continue to produce non-fuel efficient automobiles which leads to global warming, a constant threat to our world, the National Hockey League has made emergency plans to continue with the Winter Classic outdoor game between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wangs.

Temperatures on Monday reached into the high 40's forcing the NHL to improvise with its plans for the outdoor game. "The plans for warmer than expected temperatures are quite simple" said Commisioner Gary Bettman...

"We'll just have them play roller hockey - the way millions of youths were introduced to the game back in the 90's thanks fantastic movies such as the instant classic D2: The Mighty Ducks"

Bettman further explained "I've always felt that what has really been holding this league back has been the old fashioned idea that it must be played on ice.  Places like Atlanta or Miami simply don't have ice - and quite frankly a lot of people in Phoenix are just confused and scared by the idea."  Bettman hopes that by showing the world that you don't really need ice or Canadian teams for this league to be a success.

"Playing this game on something more akin to a basketball court will help us reach out to key demographics that we've been missing for so long - and ensure that we are more marketable to our much beloved advertisers."

"I've heard Toews is working on a wicked knucklepuck" added Bettman.