I already wasn’t a big fan of EA Sports’ “NHL 15,” but now we’re officially NOT CHILL. On Wednesday, EA released a complete simulation of the 2014-15 NHL season, ran entirely via “NHL 15,” and, well, the results are a combination of good and bad.
Luckily, we can all sit back and remember this is just a video game, and nothing like our super serious real games.
Okay, so the good news: EA predicts the Hawks to win the Presidents’ Trophy. Here are the projected West standings:
106 points! First place! Obviously the game thinks we’re destined to win the Stanley Cup for a third time in six years, right?
Wait …
… a second …
OH GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOO WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
And now let’s check in on the awards:
AHHHHHAHAHAHAHA PATRICK KANE LADY BYNG PATRICK KANE LADY BYNG PATRICK KANE LADY BYNG PATRICK BYNG LADY KANE.
I guess who cares about the Cup, right?
(No, we’re still totally mad at EA Sports now. STOP WORKING ON DUMB SIMULATIONS AND GO PATCH IN ONLINE TEAM PLAY YOU KNUCKLEHEADS)