Dying Hard: NHL Reverse Standings Update – Movin’ On Up Edition

The good news about being one of the worst teams in the NHL this year is you get your shot at picking near the top of an incredibly loaded draft where players like Connor Bedard, Adam Fantilli, Matvei Michkov and Leo Carlsson could help change the fortune of your entire franchise in an instant.

Going into this season, the plan was for the Chicago Blackhawks to be one of the worst teams in the league. Let’s check in on the teams that make up the bottom five and hope to get their shot at drafting Connor Bedard this summer.

Montreal Canadiens

• Current Record: 30-41-6, 66 points
• Last 10 games: 4-6-0
• Odds at winning the draft lottery: 8.5%

The Bleu, blanc et rouge started of their week by beating Le Sabres in le shootout then dropped their next three: losing to the Flyers, Panthers and Hurricanes.

So, how did the Canadiens’ game against the Hurricanes go?

At the last TV timeout of the game between the Canadiens and the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday, the Hurricanes held a 74-22 lead in shot attempts. Carolina looked like a handful of adults at a neighborhood rink who didn’t feel like giving a chance to the horde of kids who put on their skates after school.

Woof. And, by the end of the game, they were booed off the ice during their final Saturday night at le Centre de Bell this season (which is apparently a big deal in Montreal?)

It ended up being the worst shot differential (minus-36) in a game so far in what has been an incredibly disappointing and injury-plagued season for the Habs.

In other terrible news for Montreal, winger Josh Anderson is done for the season after sustaining an ankle injury and Florida is currently only one point back of the final Wild Card slot in the East with a game in hand on the Islanders.

Upcoming Schedule

Montreal has three games this week: they’ll welcome Detroit and Washington to the Bell Centre to parlez-vous before heading to Toronto to face the Maple Leafs.

San Jose Sharks

• Current Record: 22-39-15, 59 points
• Last 10 games: 3-4-3
• Odds at winning the draft lottery: 9.5%

San Jose swept their week, making Substitute Dave look like a genius. The Sharks shutout Winnipeg, beat Vegas in OT and then laid a 7-2 whooping on the Arizona Coyotes (I don’t think about you at all here in the bottom five).

The Erik Karlsson Watch is on as he races toward 100 points. With a big four-assist game against Arizona the other night he’s sitting at 95 points (22 G, 73 A) with only six games left to go.

He’s the highest scoring defenseman in the league by a mile (he has 22 more points than Vancouver’s Quinn Hughes, who has 73). His season right now already ranks 21st on the all-time list of highest scoring seasons by an NHL defenseman, and he’s trying to be the first defenseman to break 100 points since Brian Leetch did it in the 1991-1992 season.

I absolutely hope he pulls it off and it’s not outside the realm of possibility that, if he goes on a bit (more) of a tear, he could end up finishing in the top 10 all-time for points by a defenseman in a season (Paul Coffey is currently at 10th with 103 points – and also has five of the top ten seasons on his own).

Upcoming Schedule

San Jose has three games this week: they’ll start off with a scheduling anomaly in two straight against the Colorado Avalanche but with both games in San Jose, and then Edmonton will come and knock on the door for San Jose’s final home game of this season.

Columbus Blue Jackets

• Current Record: 24-44-8, 56 points
• Last 10 games: 3-6-1
• Odds at winning the draft lottery: 11.5%

Well la dee da, look who decided to finally get a few points.

Columbus started off last week by losing to the Rangers (classic ‘Lumbus), they then lost to the mighty Bruins in OT (but got a point!), got smoked 7-0 by the Panthers while starting a roster that would make Kyle Davidson jealous (more on that), then handled the Senators in overtime on Sunday night (two more points!).

The Blue Jackets season in a tweet:

And then it got even worse!

I don’t know what exactly Columbus did since the end of last season to get CURSED (I’m calling it) but this is getting truly ridiculous.

And it’s so bad right now that their lineup for Saturday night’s game against the Panthers was bordering on illegal.

And yet somehow they’ve moved up two entire spots on this list in the past week.

Every time I almost feel bad for them I just remember everything they got back in the Seth Jones deal.

Upcoming Schedule

Columbus has three games this week, all against the big boys: they’ll be at Toronto and at New Jersey before returning to home to Nationwide to take on the Rangers.

Anaheim Ducks

• Current Record: 23-44-10, 56 points
• Last 10 games: 1-9-0
• Odds at winning the draft lottery: 13.5%

Apparently, the Ducks found the Sharks freefall, picked it up, dusted it off and put it in their pockets. Anaheim is currently on an eight-game losing streak and dropped all four contests this past week: losing to Colorado, Seattle, Edmonton and Calgary.

While their goal differential may be a terrifying minus-122, I guess that’s not nearly as terrifying as forcing franchise superstar Trevor Zegras to look at Kevin Shattenkevin’s face.

Also – and I’ll apologize to the young man in advance – but this absolutely felt like an April Fool’s prank.

SoCal Hockey Bro 1: Dude! The Ducks just got a winger named Caulfield!

SoCal Hockey Bro 2: What?!? The Ducks got Cole Caulfield?!?

SoCal Hockey Bro 1: No, um … Judd. Judd Caulfield.

Anaheim has been outscored 36-9 during their eight-game losing streak.

Upcoming Schedule

The Ducks have three games this week: they’ll see Edmonton at home, then they’ll travel to Arizona for their final road game this season before returning to Anaheim to take on the Avalanche.

Chicago Blackhawks

• Current Record: 24-46-6, 54 points
• Last 10 games: 2-8-0
• Odds at winning the draft lottery: 25.5%

As a great man once said, “fucking right, Chicagoooooooo!” The Blackhawks are also in the midst of a glorious eight-game losing streak and dropped all three games this past week, losing to Dallas, St. Louis and New Jersey.

(puts on “Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta“)

So I don’t know if this last week could have gone any better for all of us around here. We launched our brand new site. There was nary a win nor a point to be found. Lukas Reichel is looking like he’s the real deal. And maybe best of all, not only is Jonathan Toews back playing hockey (hopefully for the remainder of the season) but he also got back just in time to do this:

From here on out the Blackhawks’ fate is entirely in their own hands. If they don’t win another game then they’ll guarantee they have the worst record overall, the best odds at drafting Connor Bedard, and they’ll ensure that they walk away with one of Bedard, Matvei Michkov, Adam Fantilli, or Leo Carlsson.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta, indeed (it’s so weird to be of the age now that, while I will absolutely love that song forever, I feel the need to both warn and apologize for its incredibly graphic language).

Upcoming Schedule

The Hawks will be the busiest of the bottom five with four games this week. They’ll head northwest for games in Calgary, Vancouver and Seattle before taking on Minnesota at The UC next Sunday.

While this has nothing to do with anything related to the tank(s), I’m a huge fan of weird stats/occurrences in sports so I felt the need to share this. Also, I double checked and it was not an April Fool’s prank.